Thoughts

p.s. - this was written some time back. i just did not get the opportunity to post it

Its about half past twelve in the night and I have just got up after an
absolutely terrifying session of ‘The Omen’ on my laptop. Guess I am a
little late in watching this movie, but for its worth it, it was a
little scary. Of course at the mature ( I know some people would scoff
at that, but yeah I just realized I am 24 plus so I ought to be mature)
age I am, I should not be scared. Anyways, that’s not the point why I am
right now on the laptop. I have not been influenced by the devil to make
me stay awake when I should be snuggling into my blanket. It just so
happens that I am copying the movie lakshya onto my laptop and while it
gets copied I just decided to write something. Its been a while now.
This movie lakshya happens to be one of my favorite movies for a
different reason. The plot is set around the armed forces and for a
change they have stuck to the basics of an army life, without resorting
to a lot of rhetorics and mistakes ( colonel wearing a corporals uniform
and so on). The reason I like this movie, is because it makes me live
even if virtually, a life I dreamt of living as a kid, that of an army
officer. A dream that still refuses to go away, despite all the
practicalities of life that i am in. A dream, fresh from the eyes of a
star struck young boy, watching in awe those smartly dressed young men,
marching to the tune of Beating the retreat and numerous other parades,
the passing outs at the IMAs and the NDAs of the world and so on and so
forth. Of course what i am now, you wouldnt beleive an ounce of what i
said. Yepp, it is true however. I always did want to be one like those
brave souls. For some reason I don’t know, this movie does it all the
more, make me want to go there. Maybe it’s the music. I don’t know. An
army kid I have been all through, and now sometimes it just about feels
a little strange. I mean a couple of years from now, there would be none
of that life, that is once my dad retires. I know I would never have
been able to stay on as an army man for long ( atleast that’s what maa
has driven into me), yet that life has something in it.


Its been a rather long month this past one. Lots of happenings,
mishappenings and all. Office was never as hectic as has been past
month. And no I am not complaining. It feels good to have worked hard. I
was kind of very cozily settled into a rather mundane routine here in
my company. So for a change we really worked, nights, holidays, Sundays
and all. The whole also helped me get over some of the personal tensions
I had. Some failures I encountered. I must admit I am very bad when it
comes to losing. Or atleast I was till this time. I do claim I have
learnt to accept and go around searching ways to turn things around. But
yeah only time and a further setback will really tell whether I have
learnt. The process has been painful, for me yeah, but more so for my
loved ones, my parents, my sister and some of my closest pals, who bore
the brunt of my shall I say moods.

And now that I see it, I realize that always however big I consider my
problems to be they are always very small compared to what those around
me go through. The lord has been good to me all the way. And guess he
just wants me to get a little stronger and learn to fight out things. As
I see back I really have not fought much this while, with things very
much getting to me quickly.

Aah I like this song quite a lot. Ahem it’s a little censored coz it
talks about the sutta, and what happens when a smoker does not get his
daily dose of sutta. No am no smoker. But I like the music. I have
similar feelings for one another amazing song by the same group. Put it
on your laptop when you have a deadline to finish and you don’t have
time and everything is operating according to Murphy’s law. I swear this
one will help. It helps to channel the tension out. Try it. Oops, sorry
ladies this ones not for you though.

And in other news I am going to learn the salsa. Oh yeah I am , believe
it or not. I have bribed/cajoled/threatened a close friend of mine to
accept me as her partner. The only thing that remains is to make her
sign the consequential damages clause with me. You see I do like to
“throw my weight around”. So that risk needs to be covered. And my
friend she happens to be a good lawyer so I need to be careful.

Hmm, a lot of thoughts completely unconnected to each other, what say?.
I could go on. But ill stop here. More next time when I really have
something to write on. In fact I do have, but don’t know how to put it.


chaos