The main aur meri tanhayee times in progress currently have given me a lot of time to reminisce and think about a lot of things, remember and relive a lot of moments ( ya ya, i am a baccha of the past, ) and in all that there are some people, who have stood out. My closest coterie of buddies so to speak. theve been with me through times thick and thin, have laughed out the loudest with me, listened to the craziest of cribs at the darkest of times for me, in short been a part of my existence. ab doston hoon to main bahut emosional, but somethings cannot really be described. What can be done is to talk about this coterie of mine, that i keep closest to my heart.
People, i present to thee, the bravest and strongest and amazing souls to have ever walked on this planet in a zillion years ( they braved me dude!!!). And i start from school days.
Tapori Gang
1. Don Bhai - Class 9th. First day first period. i enter a class consisting of students from all the 8 sections of my erstwhile class 8th. Most of them we had hardly interacted ( inter section politics u see- we were not to have freinds outside our sections). And i see this man in the last row. With a dark stubble, a prominent moustache and looks that then were deadly. and was i taken aback. Yaar yeh to pucca don hai. isse panga nahin leke ka - pitai ho jaayegi. Ulp!!!. I dont think i ever spoke to him for first three months, mostly out of fear. And then when i did, well itna galat to kabhi einstein apni theory of relativity mein nahin hua hoga. For M was anything but what i had thought. One of the bestest souls around, sharafat ki moorti, the greatest musician i know till date and one of my bestest freinds to date. Weve been through so many things together - from santoshi maa's hilariously stupid skits for which he had to always compose the one song "jan jan ko jagana hai, dhara ko swarg banana hai", to cribs about JEE and the others, to college time reunions to our always under planning trip to Goa. I just love this man. aajkal yeh duniya ko naye naye fashion ke kapde pehnane mein busy ho gaye hain ( maane retail business mein hain), isliye apne chaddi doston se baat nahin kar paate. but he rocks for sure.
2. Mozarts twin - Tall, lanky, with fingers that could do magic - be it the spinning cricket ball or any instrument - musical and scientific. An amazing knack of finding his way into the ladies changing room on pretext of finding his own bag during annual functions ( yeah, mahashay ko itne joote kabhi jeevan mein nahin pade honge, jitne us din)..... he discovered the way to gobble up food from lunchboxes in the last row even as teachers taught us kinematics and calculus - and the world was never the same again. Another partner in crime as we trudged daily to our coaching classes not knowing what lay ahead. And one of my always cheerful always smiling freinds ready for some good fun any time. But boss isse zyaada debate nahin karne kaa - you can neva beat him on that. We once fought for 3 hours at the loudest pitch of our voices....on one of the silliest topics at 'Don Bhai's" place, and i think Don's young sister suffered a mental shock that day. poor thing had an exam the next day. :-s. the result of the debate. Abe doston mein kaise haar or jeet. :-s. Vaise aajkal yeh compooter abhiyantriki mein ek naya revolution laane pe kaam kar rahe hain. :).
3. Mr Cool with a capital K - Banda yeh bindaas hai. I swear. A freind once quipped about him " Yaar is munde ko kyun humne school mein raakhi baandhi thi, he definitely was not the raakhi type material".... hamare group ka mascot. You run a 5 Ton tanker over him, and hell get up and say - wanna play ball? Always the one to enjoy a good life and never ever fretting over anything that strikes him. i mean we all have at one point cribbed about life - boss, job, relationship etc etc. Not him. Hamesha chilled out rehne vaala. There have been times when i have been down and have called him and have just generally spoken to him about nothing in particular. and yet after that i have felt good. talk about positive energy. Aajkal yeh apne naye naye yembeah ke dwaara duniya bhar mein consulting tabahi macha rahe hain. :-s
4. Moti - I know ill get mauled by her for calling her this, but i just cant help it. :-s. a terror in school and Mozart's twin will vouch for that ( iske terrorism ke kisse bacche 6th class mein padhte hain). Ladkiyon ki gangleader no 1. and then times changed, we went our different ways. yet the one person i have been most in touch with throughout. from college, to mumbai to ISB to now. Shared all our good times and bad, so much so that one time, i was thought to be her proxy boypheerand and she my proxy girlpheerand. The initial one year at mumbai would have been a nightmare for me if she werent there. weve roamed across nooks and corners of the city - from nariman point to bandstand ( me oogling at skimpily clad females, she oogling at bare chested males :-s), romped the malls, gone on guilt trips that made princess ask us to melt in guilt when she was in pune and so on. Ive shared all my ups and downs with her and looked to her for all sorts of advice, and she has done the same to me. and we carry on, the bestest chaddi buddies that ever walked. Now, A proud mother of a bratty 8 month old who i swear will grow up to be like her, she plans to fly away to the US with her hubby, but not before she comes down here. Oye, aaja chup chaap, nahin to maar khaayegi. :D.
5. Princess - Sigh.....i look at her and bite my tongue .......mue kis nazar se tujhe se 12th mein yeh shaant swabhav ki lageen theen, jo tumne inhe autograph book mein yeh padvi di thi :/. I mean shaant and her are like two poles north and south :-s. Dekho bhai duniya mein do tareeke ke log hain - ek woh joh princess ke haathon hazaar dhamki kha chuke hain, aur ek woh jo nahin khaa chuke hain. Jo khaa chuke hain woh jaante hain ki hum kya keh rahe hain. This powerhouse of my buddy surely packs a punch with her antics and crazy ideas. She invented the idea of threatning and cajoling her friends to take her along with them on their respective honeymoons!!!!......and well main kya hi bolon. and yeah you would almost agree, what with that innocent dimpled smile and doe eyed look on her face ( innocent,.....sheesh). She will call you up all the way from pune, listen to what all fun you had which she missed, and then make you feel you should drown in guilt. She will compete with you on "who can write the longest and lengthiest email on the crappiest topic on earth". And then, my second agony aunt after moti, she would be there to listen to all your rants, and always there to give well thought advice, as long as its not past 11:00 pm ( arre madam ki beauty sleep nahin disturb karne ka, the only 4:00 am buddy who is fast asleep at 11:00 pm). My cutest best buddy who again has been through with me all these years, she complete this tapori bunch of five from school that i have.
Love them all very very much and heres to them and to us all. Hail Taporigiri. :-s
Showing posts with label Funny tit bits. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny tit bits. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Humpty Dumpty
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
humpty dumpty had a great fall.
Dunno why i suddenly have this nursery rhyme playing in my mouth over and over again. But i need to kinda reword things here
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
humpty dumpty had a great fall,
broken humpty put his blame on the wall,
dumpty did not see what it was for all,
did he not try the balancing act,
realising not where was the fat,
he should have been wiser for sure should have been dumpty,
and seen his head was all but empty,
thanks to thee the fall was not bad,
but humpty is a little sad,
pray for humpty that he may,
rise again and not bow in dismay.
for humpty dumpty is to climb another wall,
and again go through it all and fall,
coz humpty dumpty sat on a wall,
humpty dumpty had a great fall.
adios
chaos
humpty dumpty had a great fall.
Dunno why i suddenly have this nursery rhyme playing in my mouth over and over again. But i need to kinda reword things here
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
humpty dumpty had a great fall,
broken humpty put his blame on the wall,
dumpty did not see what it was for all,
did he not try the balancing act,
realising not where was the fat,
he should have been wiser for sure should have been dumpty,
and seen his head was all but empty,
thanks to thee the fall was not bad,
but humpty is a little sad,
pray for humpty that he may,
rise again and not bow in dismay.
for humpty dumpty is to climb another wall,
and again go through it all and fall,
coz humpty dumpty sat on a wall,
humpty dumpty had a great fall.
adios
chaos
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Day 3 @ Kolad - of valleys, and rains and fumes and grooms and of ASK
If i look back, i think this has to have been the most happening day of the trip. Too many twishts and turns, exacerbated by our in born Consultants - the ASK consultancy group and you know what you had in store.
But before i get there, just a quick recap. So we started the day with the usual PT and the usual groaning. I think the first signs of the genesis of the ASK were shown here. you could see the ASK in S waking up as he tried to show his disdain to the whole stretching thingy going on. So when the instructor said "Pull Left" he pulls down and is like " Abe tere ko direction se matlab hai ya stretch se, ab ho gaya!!!!".......and so on. I swear you really had to see S in action.
Anyways next up we went for this valley crossing session. For all of you thinking about daredevil commandos crossing a 1000 foot deep gorge on a wire to raid the Villain's castle and rescue the damsel in distress, and then fighting over which one of them gets to marry her ........hold on........aisa kucch nahin hua yaar. We went to our old lake, where they had put up long rope across which we had to cross over a harness, or rather were pulled across. A shade disappointed we were for sure. We had an earlier option of a trek and we thought that should have been the one exercised. But then no point, we still had our fun, mostly frolicking in the water after our mandatory crossing.
Oh and yeah, we did have our debrief session in the morning, which went typically smoothly. Having been given the warning look by buddies around, i for once shut my trap for a longer than expected time. :).
So after the crossing thing, we got back, were told to change and pack up for our trip back, get into travel clothes and come for lunch. Most of us did that, except for the lucky few. Why? Let me tell you. But first let me also tell you, that we had been in the jungle past 2 and half days, most of our clothes were soiled, we were not carrying our entire wardrobe, and we had to also make space for some decent wear to go to Phirangi Paani on way back. ( P actually wore proper club wear so to speak, the cool rich dude i tell ya).Given the above, well we were mentally all already on the bus back when we came back from lunch.
But hello, our dear instructor had something else in store for us. One final game, of making a hexagon with ropes while we were all blindfolded. The catch " Boss, the environment would change in between"!!!!, aaah, why did we not notice that comment. Because you see the moment we started playing the game, all blindfolded and all, well..........it started pouring...........no seriously, Indra Bhagwaan apni kumbhkaran ki neend se jaage aur unhone apna inbox dekha with a number of prayer requests from a certain crowd in a motley jungle, praying for some rain aur aao dekha na taao, lage bajane dhol......matlab baarish yaar. :(
To hua yeh ki hum the apni aakhri bachi jeans aur kabhin jaane layak shirt mein, jeb mein tha hamara mobile, dimaag mein aaya khayal us puraane expereince ka (Hero Ban Gaya Zero), aur bus ho gaya dimaag kharab :(. and to be true i was not the only one. Khair, socha hamare instructor saab kucch to daya karenge, but naa.......jaage Indra bhagwaan the, yeh thode....lage rahe beta khel khelne mein.........yeh nahin socha ki unka khel kitni maasoom zindagiyon se khilwaad kara hai.............sach kahoon mujhe us khooni, vehshi darinde pe jo rosh aa raha tha ki bus............the game went on, even as all our hopes of making it to a certain pub with all the good looking ladies et al seemed to be swept away.
After a while the game ends and we all rush back to our debrief room, and somebody asks me......."how was your hexagon"??? to aap ko kya lagta hai main kya boloonga.............. of course " I DONT BLOODY WELL CARE"..........Y tells me he feared i would commit murder at that very instant. well i had some sense not to do that as yet.
But i tell you the very next instant both Y and myself had the urge to just about commit that same sin. And no we would have been called martrys for that. Why? Coz we go in, the instructor looks at us, looks at the situation, our drooping faces, and asks " So what is the EMERGENCE from this"^R%^&#Q@#$#$#$@#(&$*(,.......... abe ravaan ke vanshajh, bheegi hui jeans mein thithoorte hue bacchon se poochta hai bata teri ada kya hai :( :(.........
anyways, somehow we still sat through the session. and trust me i really havent got anything against our ravaaan ka saatvaan vanshajh, but this was too much. :(.
Anyways so we left the place, pretty tired and a little aloof and lost and what have you. But kehte hain na, bhagwaan ke ghar der hai andher nahin. Jab jab dharti pe zulm, badta hai, ek Ajooba paida hota hai, jo in zulmon ka ant karta hai.
In our case, well it has to be the ASK consultancy group. They redeemed us, rejuvenated us and what all. A firm started by the the indomitable A, S, and K together, the trio had their own version of Jay Leno and Oprah WInfrey and Junta ki Adalat and what have you, with each of us being made to sit on the hot seat and asked .......well..............absolutely politically incorrect questions.......and i am being polite. It was hilarious the whole way it came out. and the way these guys handled each question and counter question was like too much........let me try and sum it in one line
"If you dont answer well screw you, if you do, well still screw you"......and boy they did......koi nahin bacha..........sabka parda phaash kiya gaya is adalat mein................and well we had an awesome time. both the victim and the audience per se. The whole journey back was all about this.
and boss what energy the trio seems to have. I made the mistake of asking them after dinner ( this at 11:30 pm in the night, when we had been on the road for 4 hours, in a restaurant for about 2, and were returning back), as to why they were silent now. bus bhaiya, ho gayee kahani chalu, i just had to somehow run away. But anyways thats the way it came about.
All in all it was an amazing 3 day outbound trip and we had an awesome fun. In fact the entire induction program was good. Over the next two days we had more presentations and all and i think we could take them a little better since we were a little more chilled out as a group. and like i said to them earlier, Y and R, take a bow, i personally enjoyed the whole thing, and i am sure the others did too. Our group and especially ASK, take a bow too, you were outrageously hilarious and awesome. got some energy levels up for sure.
So thats about the whole thing. I am back in office from today, and well have been a little lost. maybe missing the group a little, but i hardly knew them, i mean just about 7 days right? well i guess sometimes you get used to a level of energy and camaradrie and you feel like having it for that one more bit.
thats it for now i guess
adios
chaos
But before i get there, just a quick recap. So we started the day with the usual PT and the usual groaning. I think the first signs of the genesis of the ASK were shown here. you could see the ASK in S waking up as he tried to show his disdain to the whole stretching thingy going on. So when the instructor said "Pull Left" he pulls down and is like " Abe tere ko direction se matlab hai ya stretch se, ab ho gaya!!!!".......and so on. I swear you really had to see S in action.
Anyways next up we went for this valley crossing session. For all of you thinking about daredevil commandos crossing a 1000 foot deep gorge on a wire to raid the Villain's castle and rescue the damsel in distress, and then fighting over which one of them gets to marry her ........hold on........aisa kucch nahin hua yaar. We went to our old lake, where they had put up long rope across which we had to cross over a harness, or rather were pulled across. A shade disappointed we were for sure. We had an earlier option of a trek and we thought that should have been the one exercised. But then no point, we still had our fun, mostly frolicking in the water after our mandatory crossing.
Oh and yeah, we did have our debrief session in the morning, which went typically smoothly. Having been given the warning look by buddies around, i for once shut my trap for a longer than expected time. :).
So after the crossing thing, we got back, were told to change and pack up for our trip back, get into travel clothes and come for lunch. Most of us did that, except for the lucky few. Why? Let me tell you. But first let me also tell you, that we had been in the jungle past 2 and half days, most of our clothes were soiled, we were not carrying our entire wardrobe, and we had to also make space for some decent wear to go to Phirangi Paani on way back. ( P actually wore proper club wear so to speak, the cool rich dude i tell ya).Given the above, well we were mentally all already on the bus back when we came back from lunch.
But hello, our dear instructor had something else in store for us. One final game, of making a hexagon with ropes while we were all blindfolded. The catch " Boss, the environment would change in between"!!!!, aaah, why did we not notice that comment. Because you see the moment we started playing the game, all blindfolded and all, well..........it started pouring...........no seriously, Indra Bhagwaan apni kumbhkaran ki neend se jaage aur unhone apna inbox dekha with a number of prayer requests from a certain crowd in a motley jungle, praying for some rain aur aao dekha na taao, lage bajane dhol......matlab baarish yaar. :(
To hua yeh ki hum the apni aakhri bachi jeans aur kabhin jaane layak shirt mein, jeb mein tha hamara mobile, dimaag mein aaya khayal us puraane expereince ka (Hero Ban Gaya Zero), aur bus ho gaya dimaag kharab :(. and to be true i was not the only one. Khair, socha hamare instructor saab kucch to daya karenge, but naa.......jaage Indra bhagwaan the, yeh thode....lage rahe beta khel khelne mein.........yeh nahin socha ki unka khel kitni maasoom zindagiyon se khilwaad kara hai.............sach kahoon mujhe us khooni, vehshi darinde pe jo rosh aa raha tha ki bus............the game went on, even as all our hopes of making it to a certain pub with all the good looking ladies et al seemed to be swept away.
After a while the game ends and we all rush back to our debrief room, and somebody asks me......."how was your hexagon"??? to aap ko kya lagta hai main kya boloonga.............. of course " I DONT BLOODY WELL CARE"..........Y tells me he feared i would commit murder at that very instant. well i had some sense not to do that as yet.
But i tell you the very next instant both Y and myself had the urge to just about commit that same sin. And no we would have been called martrys for that. Why? Coz we go in, the instructor looks at us, looks at the situation, our drooping faces, and asks " So what is the EMERGENCE from this"^R%^&#Q@#$#$#$@#(&$*(,.......... abe ravaan ke vanshajh, bheegi hui jeans mein thithoorte hue bacchon se poochta hai bata teri ada kya hai :( :(.........
anyways, somehow we still sat through the session. and trust me i really havent got anything against our ravaaan ka saatvaan vanshajh, but this was too much. :(.
Anyways so we left the place, pretty tired and a little aloof and lost and what have you. But kehte hain na, bhagwaan ke ghar der hai andher nahin. Jab jab dharti pe zulm, badta hai, ek Ajooba paida hota hai, jo in zulmon ka ant karta hai.
In our case, well it has to be the ASK consultancy group. They redeemed us, rejuvenated us and what all. A firm started by the the indomitable A, S, and K together, the trio had their own version of Jay Leno and Oprah WInfrey and Junta ki Adalat and what have you, with each of us being made to sit on the hot seat and asked .......well..............absolutely politically incorrect questions.......and i am being polite. It was hilarious the whole way it came out. and the way these guys handled each question and counter question was like too much........let me try and sum it in one line
"If you dont answer well screw you, if you do, well still screw you"......and boy they did......koi nahin bacha..........sabka parda phaash kiya gaya is adalat mein................and well we had an awesome time. both the victim and the audience per se. The whole journey back was all about this.
and boss what energy the trio seems to have. I made the mistake of asking them after dinner ( this at 11:30 pm in the night, when we had been on the road for 4 hours, in a restaurant for about 2, and were returning back), as to why they were silent now. bus bhaiya, ho gayee kahani chalu, i just had to somehow run away. But anyways thats the way it came about.
All in all it was an amazing 3 day outbound trip and we had an awesome fun. In fact the entire induction program was good. Over the next two days we had more presentations and all and i think we could take them a little better since we were a little more chilled out as a group. and like i said to them earlier, Y and R, take a bow, i personally enjoyed the whole thing, and i am sure the others did too. Our group and especially ASK, take a bow too, you were outrageously hilarious and awesome. got some energy levels up for sure.
So thats about the whole thing. I am back in office from today, and well have been a little lost. maybe missing the group a little, but i hardly knew them, i mean just about 7 days right? well i guess sometimes you get used to a level of energy and camaradrie and you feel like having it for that one more bit.
thats it for now i guess
adios
chaos
Kolad Trip Day 2
Trust me, when you have been running around like your ass was on fire, from one activity to the other to the next, you dont know what hits you when you reach the tent and before you know it, you are snoring away to glory.
Exactly, what happened to most of us at the end of first day. i think most of us had no idea of our bearings physical and mental and we just flopped like dry sacks onto our respective beds, caring nothing but for Chandamama if you know what i mean. :).
By the way, did you tell you of our failed attempt at playing a prank on the ladies of our group, . To my credit, i humbly accept defeat. and to the ladies credit, well they werent taken in, even by a fear as mortal as being bitten by fiery king cobra. Or maybe they were too tired to really react to whatever we planned. For the records we did plan out some more, such as the one with a Vikram Betaal type Betaal springing on one of the unsuspecting victims from a tree in the dead of the night. Me thinks we should have been more adventurous :P.
Anyways so day 2 began with the usual morning PT so to speak. and this time it was a yoga session. Boss, try stretching your limbs here and there and thither, something you havent ever done before and then listen to the instructor go "Push Push Push, more push".......yikes.......at one point if felt as we were all females in labour, with a doctor on our head.............sheeessshhhh. and finally the instructor says........"Lock Lock" whatver that meant. I think someone did shout " arre boss, lock hi hai sabkuch ab unlock nahin hoga"....... but it was fun actually the whole thing. Most of us started feeling so young and glowing didnt we.......atleast the parts that could still feel something :D.
Anyways so the next high point of the day was a raft building exercise. so we were these two teams competing to get an orange from a hirtherto unknown king to save our respective CEO and for that we had to build this raft and then cross over a lake to reach the island. Was an interesting activity what with our attempts to build a raft while another part of our team tried to negotiate for a consultant. We got one to help us make the raft, while the other team used their own brains and did come up with a sturdy design - what if it toppled the first time??? Post the raft building a rowing exercise ( which was i admit a little disappointing since most of us thought it would be white water and all, whereas we hardly went across some 25 metres of a still lake), we had a good swimming session in the lake which was fun.
We also had a debrief on this and it kinda got to me this time. Apparently the point that we missed in the competition was that one team had to get only the orange peel while the other had to get the juice. so were supposed to have collaborated and not competed and thereby reduced our bids from US$ 6 billion to INR 1100??? ( dont even ask me to explain that). and the whole lesson being WIN - WIN approach works WIN-LOSE doesnt??? arre boss, yeh kahan se aa gaya.......too much ho gaya was the discussion i tell you, and well i think most of us still dont agree :(. anyways, so much for the win and the lose.
Post the above debrief we had a series of games played. pretty neat and enjoyable games, which worked best when we kept our mouth shut and worked rather than making whole loads of noise. so from trying to carry a basket ball balanced on 12 strings to walking on australian planks so to speak to the TT ball and pipe game, these were interesting..........
The last event for the day was this movie called " The Ghost and the Darkness". Pretty neat movie starring Val Kilmer, Michael Douglas and set in the 19th century if i am not wrong. The best was the cinematography of the lions. they looked so majestic. for the others the story is about a man who is building a bridge across a river and is haunted by the prospect of all his men falling prey to man eating lions.
Now for me the only thought i had as i went to bed - Boss three games, and one movie? imagine the discussions during the mandatory debriefs? i mean i am all for debriefs, i love participating in them, but trust me yaar........sometimes a movie is a movie is a movie....... period.
anyways this has a reason too.
adios chaos
Exactly, what happened to most of us at the end of first day. i think most of us had no idea of our bearings physical and mental and we just flopped like dry sacks onto our respective beds, caring nothing but for Chandamama if you know what i mean. :).
By the way, did you tell you of our failed attempt at playing a prank on the ladies of our group, . To my credit, i humbly accept defeat. and to the ladies credit, well they werent taken in, even by a fear as mortal as being bitten by fiery king cobra. Or maybe they were too tired to really react to whatever we planned. For the records we did plan out some more, such as the one with a Vikram Betaal type Betaal springing on one of the unsuspecting victims from a tree in the dead of the night. Me thinks we should have been more adventurous :P.
Anyways so day 2 began with the usual morning PT so to speak. and this time it was a yoga session. Boss, try stretching your limbs here and there and thither, something you havent ever done before and then listen to the instructor go "Push Push Push, more push".......yikes.......at one point if felt as we were all females in labour, with a doctor on our head.............sheeessshhhh. and finally the instructor says........"Lock Lock" whatver that meant. I think someone did shout " arre boss, lock hi hai sabkuch ab unlock nahin hoga"....... but it was fun actually the whole thing. Most of us started feeling so young and glowing didnt we.......atleast the parts that could still feel something :D.
Anyways so the next high point of the day was a raft building exercise. so we were these two teams competing to get an orange from a hirtherto unknown king to save our respective CEO and for that we had to build this raft and then cross over a lake to reach the island. Was an interesting activity what with our attempts to build a raft while another part of our team tried to negotiate for a consultant. We got one to help us make the raft, while the other team used their own brains and did come up with a sturdy design - what if it toppled the first time??? Post the raft building a rowing exercise ( which was i admit a little disappointing since most of us thought it would be white water and all, whereas we hardly went across some 25 metres of a still lake), we had a good swimming session in the lake which was fun.
We also had a debrief on this and it kinda got to me this time. Apparently the point that we missed in the competition was that one team had to get only the orange peel while the other had to get the juice. so were supposed to have collaborated and not competed and thereby reduced our bids from US$ 6 billion to INR 1100??? ( dont even ask me to explain that). and the whole lesson being WIN - WIN approach works WIN-LOSE doesnt??? arre boss, yeh kahan se aa gaya.......too much ho gaya was the discussion i tell you, and well i think most of us still dont agree :(. anyways, so much for the win and the lose.
Post the above debrief we had a series of games played. pretty neat and enjoyable games, which worked best when we kept our mouth shut and worked rather than making whole loads of noise. so from trying to carry a basket ball balanced on 12 strings to walking on australian planks so to speak to the TT ball and pipe game, these were interesting..........
The last event for the day was this movie called " The Ghost and the Darkness". Pretty neat movie starring Val Kilmer, Michael Douglas and set in the 19th century if i am not wrong. The best was the cinematography of the lions. they looked so majestic. for the others the story is about a man who is building a bridge across a river and is haunted by the prospect of all his men falling prey to man eating lions.
Now for me the only thought i had as i went to bed - Boss three games, and one movie? imagine the discussions during the mandatory debriefs? i mean i am all for debriefs, i love participating in them, but trust me yaar........sometimes a movie is a movie is a movie....... period.
anyways this has a reason too.
adios chaos
Monday, June 08, 2009
Hail the ASK Consultancy Group - Day One
Hmmm!! civilization at last!!! or atleast the luxuries of some source of communication that was missing past three days, access to my laptop and network for my phone that however has been giving me sleepless nights........hanging from the hangman's noose and refusing to go beyond the clear white screen on start up. I told you, i am always happy with the simple paanch hazaar vaala baat karne vaala phone. these funky gadgetry monsters do me no good :(.
Anyways before i digress too much, well we had gone away from civilization for a three day trip to this village in Kolad, about a hundred kms from Mumbai. Oh ya, i have been in mumbai ( my original karambhoomi so to speak :)), for a week now, as part of our company's group orientation program. and well i thought the outbound trip was one worth mentioning about.
So Day 1 started with our 3 hour trip to the camp. We left last thursday, a motley group of some 26 odd people led by our organizers, the Omnipresent (boss with his towering personality, you cant miss him) Y and the demure yet power packed and indomitable R. The trip was short yet sweet albeit with the dosage of the typical antakshari, from heavy ghazals to the cheeziest and sleaziest govinda numbers. I mean the range went from heavy duty numbers like “Hosh Vaalon Ko Khabar kya” to the mithunda flicks like “Atariya pe lutan kabutar”…….you could feel the depth of the gang I tell you.
On another note, Id like to believe this was also the time when the seeds of a soon to be extremely successful startup were being sown. More on ASK later though. They deserve a separate post per se. :D.
Our camp was set on top of a hill ( came to know of this only on the day when we were leaving though) and consisted of tented accommodation plus a pucca conference room and some ground for exercise. Having first located our tent ( which was quite luxurious contrary to our expectations) and settled down, we had our first session in the evening, that of a usual round of introductions, with everyone introducing someone else. What made it interesting was the fact that a certain bollywood actress and actor came out to be most in demand for partners on a trip to Hawaai. I am sure our instructor spent a better half of the night chalking out a rigorous schedule for accomodating the actress and actor into our oh so busy days. Then of course there were others who revealed there first love for Tuntun, Ajju Bhai et al.
Anyways so after a fine dinner we tucked in for the first day ahead, which promised to begin early. 5:45 am to be precise.
Now I am not telling you my weight, but damn it ask someone like me as well as the rest to get up at 5:30 in the morning and go for a round of PT and jogging and all, and you know whats in store. :(. I mean what do i say. but well we did begin our mornings with the round everyday of the three days. so the first had a couple of rounds of jogging followed by exercises to stretch hitherto unknown parts of your self. As one of us quipped later . “Only now i know i have 207 bones"!!! The extra one because magically, new body parts seemed to be growing these days. But I tell you we did realize the awesome physical condition we all were in. I mean 30 mins, and the combined power of our heavy breathing could have caused a storm in zulu land. :D
Post breakfast, our first session was one of splitting the group into teams that had to “Compete” in and Extremely “Collaborative” Manner in a Win Win scenario. No comments on this though. But yeah we had our teams formed - the wild, ragged, absolutely crazy Junglee Brigades, and the even crazier, whackier "Fundoo Pandooz". With slogans such as "Jhinga Lala Hu, Sharam Haya sab chhhodd do, Fundoo pandooz ko phod do", and "Screw it just do it"......you only missed a couple of spears and some war paint and some knives around there i think.
Our first outbound activity for the day was, rock climbing and rappelling. we were ( or atleast i was :(), a bit disappointed as we did not go for an actual mountain climb rather just had a vertical about 35 feet high man made wall ( wait, i never said i finished climbing it), to climb. But it still was fun nevertheless. Ab main apne baare mein to kya hi bataon, matlab saamne deewaar thi, uske saamne main tha, bus deewar main chadne hi waala tha, ki .....kambhakt yeh bhaaribharkam shareer beech mein aa gaya. Varna woh deewaar aaj tak bani nahin jo hum chad na sakein. The bottom line being i did not go beyond 5 feet i think. :(.
But we had a few others who did it. In fact our first climber almost finished the climb in first attempt, before missing the last bit ( he went on to finish the whole thing again on the last day). Then we had S, who climbed the damn thing like a monkey, hopping from one side to the other with some agility. I swear i should call him the monkey man :D. But he was good. The others also gave really good shots at the activity, differently reaching heights.
The rappelling was a comparatively easier activity, and well i sort of redeemed myself i one way, by successfully trying out the commando style one where you had to literally walk down the wall, facing downwards instead of with your back. It was scary to say the least but well we did it.
Post lunch, there were two activities lined up. One included building a tent with your team lined up and with hands and legs tied to each other such that only the ends had one leg and one hand free. Boy it did seem quite a task. And the way we moved trying to accommodate both ourselves as well as the hazaar suggestions each one of us had, it was stupefying :D. We almost had the tent erected upside down, before some saint realized the folly and directed us. But we did manage to do it, albeit after the other team.
Another activity we played later was that of the game of mats, where the team was split into two columns, and the two had to cross over each other. If you have every tried the frog puzzle on your MS Excel, when you were supposed to be working in office, youll know what I mean. This one took us awhile to crack, and in fact at one point three of us were sitting simply scratching heads and trying to remember our earlier endeavors. But thanks to a few more saner souls we managed to do this one too.
One continuous and well at times stretched factor during the entire trip was the debrief session following every game or activity. And i dont think i remember it with as much fondness as i would perhaps remember my first date with my girlfriend ( if i had one that is), but well yeah it was fun to discuss, and dissect and analyze every aspect of the activity. So we went from a simple objective of climbing a damn rock to relation with the self to fear to psychosis and mitosis and meiosis and win win and win lose. I tell you boss, the intelligentsia of the world would have been stunned at the depth of the discussions we had. We had all the answers to every problem in the world. And no i am not being cynical. I got to be crowned the Arbit CP as well as the Desperate CP King re :), an honor i missed during my ISB days.
Evening was a skit performance by each of our two teams – Jungleez and Pandooz that is. While the Jungleez performed to the tune of “Sholay Rewind” ( my buddies at ISB, take a bow, I took our earlier idea and used it again here J), the Pandooz made a new version of “Mahabharat ki Ramayana”. Both were awesomely hilarious ones. Sholay had its origins in a similar skit I had staged at college but this one was crazier by far. From thakur wanting to get rid of the suave smart and ex Ibanker Gabbar, to Jai Veeru convincing Basanti that Thakur was the best man for her, to maulvi lining up for mausi, to Kalia finally running away with mausi even as Radha implored Jai and Veeru for neglecting her, wooh, I don’t know what we were doing. But it was amazing simply. Never knew, we could come up with so many ideas, and such an impromptu performance in a space of about an hour and a half. Awesome.
The Pandooz had their own version of Mahabharat Ki Ramayan. Another hilarious endeavour with a plot that I would like to keep under wraps for fear of being hounded by the Hindu Fanatics I tell ya. I mean………we had to somehow just stop ourselves from dying laughing. Just kinda got me back to old engineering and MBA days. Sigh!!!!!!!!!
Anyways, so that’s how the day ended, with some bonfire music followed by dinner. Pretty hectic, lots of activity and great fun. We had two more days to go, and were waiting to see what would go.
The next day shall follow. But before I go, I must do this…….Hail the ASK Consultancy Group.
Adios
Chaos.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Khai Ke Paan Benaras Vaala in Kolkata
So you see i have very recently shifted to Kolkata, and am still getting to know the city. Till now, despite a number of people telling me otherwise, i have found the place nice and beautiful. Maybe coz i did not find myself alone, having some of my closest school buddies here or joining a firm that....cross my heart is still quite people and HR freindly. and i am still exploring the city. and have not faced the monsoon, the water logging etc as people tell me.
But this post is not about the city mind you. Ill do that some other time. This is something more basic and begins with a simple question.
Have you ever faced that situation where in trying to be extra cautious you actually end up making even more sillier mistakes than possible? well heres one of them.
So two days into the city, it was my closest freinds wedding. and me and my other freind went to her place for the wedding and had an awesome time. The next day was reception at her inlaws place and we attended that too. In very short, two simply awesome days of reunion cum wedding celebration and everything.
For me now, this being the first bengali wedding i was attending, i was quite inquisitive and curious about the slightly different customs followed from the North Indian weddings that i have generally attended. at the same time, well atleast in my mind even if needlessly, I was a little conscious about not doing or behaving in any manner stupid or silly. not that i should have been worried, after all it was my bestest buddy who was getting married . But then call it a quirk of the mind.
So there i was, on the day of the reception, at her new home,. We had just finished an awesome dinner, topped it with a great kulfi and were lounging comfortably, me, my freind S, the newly weds and few others and chatting about this and that. And there comes the final thing to round off the dinner - a smoothly packed "paan". Now a paan is nothing but just that..........a paan........ as the wiki would define it - "Sweet" (meetha paan): Betel leaf with neither tobacco nor areca nuts. The filling is made up primarily of coconut, fruit preserves, and various spices. It is also often served with a maraschino cherry. "
Par nahin bhaiya hamari aisi kismat kahan. bataya to tha hum the extra observant, extra cautious and overtly careful. Somehow or the other it got into my head that this was a special paan served only in Kolkata which had to be had in a different way. for the information of the readers, this one had just been specially wrapped in another leaf and tied with a small ribbon. Frankly speaking nothing unusual about it. Nothing except of course to me.
Thence came my moment.
I tried to unwrap the upper leaf, but somehow couldnt locate the actual paan inside. so i was confused. Now please, do remember my slightly conscious state of mind ( which is more of a bad excuse for what happened :-s). So I kept sitting with the paan in hand trying to quickly think of a way to have it without looking silly. and somehow the brain was not working.
And then.......Suddenly it struck me........the right way of eating the paan that is!!!!!! and i had my eureka moment of the day...........so very comfortably i sprang up, lifted the packed paan in my right hand, looked around comfortably and with that crazy winner's look..........popped the pack straight into my mouth........after a full 5 mins of debating that is...And there i stood with that winner's look savouring that surprisingly different tangy taste of the leaf and trying to make out the gulcand and the other things in between.............
That is when i noticed S looking askance at me with a very puzzled expression. He seemed to have been observing me since i put the packet into my mouth.........and then he came upto me and asked..........." Dude, tune bahar ka patta kahan phenka"........and i was like " patta........kaunsa patta?"
And then it struck me................arre bhaiya i had been hallucinating........kolkata or delhi or mumbai ...........a paan is a paan is a paan..........and i had just had one with the outside wrapping leaf............ :( :(......boy did i make the laughing stock of the evening :(.........
My only salvation........
1. I was not the only one. My partner in crime and in fact the one whose act i actually followed ( yeah the eureka moment did not come all by itself)......was his majesty our dear groom himself..........
2. As a concession, we both got to have another delicious paan.......to humne do paan khaaye bajaaye ke ek......nice idea na. :D
3. I have become phamous in kolkata now. Next day i had gone again to meet my friends and aunty, the groom's mother came up to me and started speaking to me in bengali. now i am still a learner......the farthest i have gone is "aami bangla jaani na"........but i knew what aunty said immediately......from the twinkle in her eye...
she said " Beta, have the paan without the wrapper :-s".....
To bhaiyon aur bhaiyon ki beheno.....sun lo meri baat...paan hota hai paan.........chahe woh banarsi ya allahabadi ya kahin ka ........sab ek hai......i know the true blue connousiueers ( pardon the speeling) would disagree..........but for me its all the same......no more thinking re baba.......
adios
Chaos
But this post is not about the city mind you. Ill do that some other time. This is something more basic and begins with a simple question.
Have you ever faced that situation where in trying to be extra cautious you actually end up making even more sillier mistakes than possible? well heres one of them.
So two days into the city, it was my closest freinds wedding. and me and my other freind went to her place for the wedding and had an awesome time. The next day was reception at her inlaws place and we attended that too. In very short, two simply awesome days of reunion cum wedding celebration and everything.
For me now, this being the first bengali wedding i was attending, i was quite inquisitive and curious about the slightly different customs followed from the North Indian weddings that i have generally attended. at the same time, well atleast in my mind even if needlessly, I was a little conscious about not doing or behaving in any manner stupid or silly. not that i should have been worried, after all it was my bestest buddy who was getting married . But then call it a quirk of the mind.
So there i was, on the day of the reception, at her new home,. We had just finished an awesome dinner, topped it with a great kulfi and were lounging comfortably, me, my freind S, the newly weds and few others and chatting about this and that. And there comes the final thing to round off the dinner - a smoothly packed "paan". Now a paan is nothing but just that..........a paan........ as the wiki would define it - "Sweet" (meetha paan): Betel leaf with neither tobacco nor areca nuts. The filling is made up primarily of coconut, fruit preserves, and various spices. It is also often served with a maraschino cherry. "
Par nahin bhaiya hamari aisi kismat kahan. bataya to tha hum the extra observant, extra cautious and overtly careful. Somehow or the other it got into my head that this was a special paan served only in Kolkata which had to be had in a different way. for the information of the readers, this one had just been specially wrapped in another leaf and tied with a small ribbon. Frankly speaking nothing unusual about it. Nothing except of course to me.
Thence came my moment.
I tried to unwrap the upper leaf, but somehow couldnt locate the actual paan inside. so i was confused. Now please, do remember my slightly conscious state of mind ( which is more of a bad excuse for what happened :-s). So I kept sitting with the paan in hand trying to quickly think of a way to have it without looking silly. and somehow the brain was not working.
And then.......Suddenly it struck me........the right way of eating the paan that is!!!!!! and i had my eureka moment of the day...........so very comfortably i sprang up, lifted the packed paan in my right hand, looked around comfortably and with that crazy winner's look..........popped the pack straight into my mouth........after a full 5 mins of debating that is...And there i stood with that winner's look savouring that surprisingly different tangy taste of the leaf and trying to make out the gulcand and the other things in between.............
That is when i noticed S looking askance at me with a very puzzled expression. He seemed to have been observing me since i put the packet into my mouth.........and then he came upto me and asked..........." Dude, tune bahar ka patta kahan phenka"........and i was like " patta........kaunsa patta?"
And then it struck me................arre bhaiya i had been hallucinating........kolkata or delhi or mumbai ...........a paan is a paan is a paan..........and i had just had one with the outside wrapping leaf............ :( :(......boy did i make the laughing stock of the evening :(.........
My only salvation........
1. I was not the only one. My partner in crime and in fact the one whose act i actually followed ( yeah the eureka moment did not come all by itself)......was his majesty our dear groom himself..........
2. As a concession, we both got to have another delicious paan.......to humne do paan khaaye bajaaye ke ek......nice idea na. :D
3. I have become phamous in kolkata now. Next day i had gone again to meet my friends and aunty, the groom's mother came up to me and started speaking to me in bengali. now i am still a learner......the farthest i have gone is "aami bangla jaani na"........but i knew what aunty said immediately......from the twinkle in her eye...
she said " Beta, have the paan without the wrapper :-s".....
To bhaiyon aur bhaiyon ki beheno.....sun lo meri baat...paan hota hai paan.........chahe woh banarsi ya allahabadi ya kahin ka ........sab ek hai......i know the true blue connousiueers ( pardon the speeling) would disagree..........but for me its all the same......no more thinking re baba.......
adios
Chaos
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Munna tum bade hoke kya banoge
This is a question that every child here has to learn to answer faster than any other question in the world. aur aajkal ke zamane mein to the answer assumes gigantic proportions with the frantic parents already having made plans of which pre-school, which school, high school, engineering college, mba institute to go to before the poor kid has even opened their eyes.
But then there was that time, a not to far away, when such questions brought forth innocent replies. So when asked this question first as a 5 year old kid, i would give a well rehearsed answer, taught in advance by mamaji - " i want to be a fire engine driver"....much to the chagrin of parents. Never mind at that age i had no idea what that even meant. :). and i think this stayed with me for quite some time.
Now of course i am one of the typical types, who took science, did engineering and then got an mba and is trying to make sense of how it all fits into his life history. not that i really regret anything. But for sometime now, i was just wondering what i could say if the almighty himself had come up to me and asked me " Munna tum kya banoge bade hoke" and promised to grant the wish come whatsoever.
So well in the hope that time and tide may still turn and i may yet get to draw up this list for myself or atleast live some moments, heres the list.
1. Army officer / Air Force Pilot - "Ladkiyaan to faujiyon pe marti hain" :-s......so said Sukhi in the movie Rang De Basanti. Guess that reason would hold some fort now, but not back then in the age of innocence ( i am still innocent and a sharafat ki murti sacchi). Back then it was all about being that brave young officer, fighting and killing all enemies with his guns and planes. being an army officers son helped make matters more clear. of course as days progressed, things changed, but given a chance, i would still like to fulfill that ambition.
2. Halwai - oh boy that sure does find itself on top of my list too. Naah not that sophisticated hotel management kiya hua chef. i am talking about a proper dhoti banyan clad, huge paunchy halwai. :). dishing out the most exquisite dishes and eats and sweets known to man. or maybe ill let go of the paunch and keep the rest. this serves two things - one my love for cooking and as well for eating......one problem though........with my appetite that i have........what will i serve the customers........errr.......bad business to be in. :P
3. Neta - he he he. with the number of class monitors, and class reps and school rep positions that i have taken, i think netagiri could come naturally to me. and given the unusually high moral standards of todays leaders :-s, i might just make the cut. one problem though - they say am a little too nice for politics.......but ahem.........what they dont know is......Jai Pakhand hamara naara hai......netagiri hamara hai...... :P......
4. Guitarist / Singer - I know princess, dreamer and others would smirk at this.....but sacchi i can sing.....even beyond the bathroom.......i even tried for the music section in college but was undone by the fact that one day before i irritated the senior during ragging :-s, and calling him Meethi Churi....never did my section at IITR see a more enthusiastic singer in the group meetings ( they had to literally stop me in final year from stealing the show from juniors) .i also had a guitar that sadly but valiantly gave up its life while fighting the mumbai rain.....(refer "Hero ban gaya zero")......but i can sing.......la la la la aha haha aha aha..............so be sure to look out for a Rock On soon....... :D
5. Underworld don aka munna bhai - oh ya this one ambition struck me and my roommate sometime during the hot cruel months in mumbai when we were downright frustrated with jobs and months of CAT prep. bus.....man kiya.....bhaad mein jaaye sab........yeh kaam dhandha sahi hai...........Bhaiiiiiiiii........the big boss........ imagine the power, the luxury etc etc.......naam bhi soch liya tha humnein......we would be the M gang......munna bhai gang......and no i am not referring to any of those Sanjay dutt inspirations. this would be the absolute mean killing machine.....ruthless....shady........with the slogan " Jai Paakhand" from mumbai to everywhere would the roots spread..........alas dil ke armaan aansoon mein beh gaye.......kyun? will tell over a cuppa koffee sometime.
6. Actor - Kutte, Kamine.......main tera khoon pee jaaonga.............haan haan main hi hoon dharmendra ka asli vaaris.......bula lo saare lawyers ko........... :-s......well nautanki mein to have been as expert since school. people call me dramebaaz for the over exaggerated emotional drama i perform at the drop of a hat. so this would seem a likely profession. and given my other ambitions of being the underworld bhai this would make for a double role. din mein hero .....raat mein bhai......kya samajh mein aayee...... ???
7. Writer / Poet - i have had my Nobel Prize acceptance speech ready for ages now. why else would i even have started blogging. i always knew i had that golden talent. :-s. they make golden frames of writings and posts. having written 2000 word emails on the crappiest and most nonsensical topics on earth, i now claim to be a thorough bred writer. ask dreamer, ask ripples, ask princess and they will testify. this is one career i could mint money in..... :D
8. Stand-up comedian - Yeh mera idea nahin hai. but my roommate once said i just need to stand up and people would start laughing......... so there goes......yeh bhi hamari lisht mein aa gaya. sacchi main kaafi humorous aadmi hoon bhai......... :-s......and a narcissist too at that.
9. Fire Engine Driver - coz mamaji said so. kucch to baat hogi unki baat mein :).
10. And last but definitely not the least.......Mr Bekaar - aur kya.....kya jeevan mein kucch banana zaroori hai.........mungerilal banke haseen sapne lene mein kya buraai hai........ bus roz ek naya sapna.....poora din ho apna........ not bad eh :).
To bhai logon yeh poori hui hamari lisht.........dekha aapne the copious amount of talent that goes wasted in this one soul. alas, instead of the above, here i lie, sitting in an office, doing what an engineer turned yembeah is supposed to do.......day dream :D
so munna / muniya, kya banoge bade hoke.......let me see what the following may have to say
1. Dreamer
2. Princess
3.Ripples
4.Surabhi
5. A Journey Called Life
But then there was that time, a not to far away, when such questions brought forth innocent replies. So when asked this question first as a 5 year old kid, i would give a well rehearsed answer, taught in advance by mamaji - " i want to be a fire engine driver"....much to the chagrin of parents. Never mind at that age i had no idea what that even meant. :). and i think this stayed with me for quite some time.
Now of course i am one of the typical types, who took science, did engineering and then got an mba and is trying to make sense of how it all fits into his life history. not that i really regret anything. But for sometime now, i was just wondering what i could say if the almighty himself had come up to me and asked me " Munna tum kya banoge bade hoke" and promised to grant the wish come whatsoever.
So well in the hope that time and tide may still turn and i may yet get to draw up this list for myself or atleast live some moments, heres the list.
1. Army officer / Air Force Pilot - "Ladkiyaan to faujiyon pe marti hain" :-s......so said Sukhi in the movie Rang De Basanti. Guess that reason would hold some fort now, but not back then in the age of innocence ( i am still innocent and a sharafat ki murti sacchi). Back then it was all about being that brave young officer, fighting and killing all enemies with his guns and planes. being an army officers son helped make matters more clear. of course as days progressed, things changed, but given a chance, i would still like to fulfill that ambition.
2. Halwai - oh boy that sure does find itself on top of my list too. Naah not that sophisticated hotel management kiya hua chef. i am talking about a proper dhoti banyan clad, huge paunchy halwai. :). dishing out the most exquisite dishes and eats and sweets known to man. or maybe ill let go of the paunch and keep the rest. this serves two things - one my love for cooking and as well for eating......one problem though........with my appetite that i have........what will i serve the customers........errr.......bad business to be in. :P
3. Neta - he he he. with the number of class monitors, and class reps and school rep positions that i have taken, i think netagiri could come naturally to me. and given the unusually high moral standards of todays leaders :-s, i might just make the cut. one problem though - they say am a little too nice for politics.......but ahem.........what they dont know is......Jai Pakhand hamara naara hai......netagiri hamara hai...... :P......
4. Guitarist / Singer - I know princess, dreamer and others would smirk at this.....but sacchi i can sing.....even beyond the bathroom.......i even tried for the music section in college but was undone by the fact that one day before i irritated the senior during ragging :-s, and calling him Meethi Churi....never did my section at IITR see a more enthusiastic singer in the group meetings ( they had to literally stop me in final year from stealing the show from juniors) .i also had a guitar that sadly but valiantly gave up its life while fighting the mumbai rain.....(refer "Hero ban gaya zero")......but i can sing.......la la la la aha haha aha aha..............so be sure to look out for a Rock On soon....... :D
5. Underworld don aka munna bhai - oh ya this one ambition struck me and my roommate sometime during the hot cruel months in mumbai when we were downright frustrated with jobs and months of CAT prep. bus.....man kiya.....bhaad mein jaaye sab........yeh kaam dhandha sahi hai...........Bhaiiiiiiiii........the big boss........ imagine the power, the luxury etc etc.......naam bhi soch liya tha humnein......we would be the M gang......munna bhai gang......and no i am not referring to any of those Sanjay dutt inspirations. this would be the absolute mean killing machine.....ruthless....shady........with the slogan " Jai Paakhand" from mumbai to everywhere would the roots spread..........alas dil ke armaan aansoon mein beh gaye.......kyun? will tell over a cuppa koffee sometime.
6. Actor - Kutte, Kamine.......main tera khoon pee jaaonga.............haan haan main hi hoon dharmendra ka asli vaaris.......bula lo saare lawyers ko........... :-s......well nautanki mein to have been as expert since school. people call me dramebaaz for the over exaggerated emotional drama i perform at the drop of a hat. so this would seem a likely profession. and given my other ambitions of being the underworld bhai this would make for a double role. din mein hero .....raat mein bhai......kya samajh mein aayee...... ???
7. Writer / Poet - i have had my Nobel Prize acceptance speech ready for ages now. why else would i even have started blogging. i always knew i had that golden talent. :-s. they make golden frames of writings and posts. having written 2000 word emails on the crappiest and most nonsensical topics on earth, i now claim to be a thorough bred writer. ask dreamer, ask ripples, ask princess and they will testify. this is one career i could mint money in..... :D
8. Stand-up comedian - Yeh mera idea nahin hai. but my roommate once said i just need to stand up and people would start laughing......... so there goes......yeh bhi hamari lisht mein aa gaya. sacchi main kaafi humorous aadmi hoon bhai......... :-s......and a narcissist too at that.
9. Fire Engine Driver - coz mamaji said so. kucch to baat hogi unki baat mein :).
10. And last but definitely not the least.......Mr Bekaar - aur kya.....kya jeevan mein kucch banana zaroori hai.........mungerilal banke haseen sapne lene mein kya buraai hai........ bus roz ek naya sapna.....poora din ho apna........ not bad eh :).
To bhai logon yeh poori hui hamari lisht.........dekha aapne the copious amount of talent that goes wasted in this one soul. alas, instead of the above, here i lie, sitting in an office, doing what an engineer turned yembeah is supposed to do.......day dream :D
so munna / muniya, kya banoge bade hoke.......let me see what the following may have to say
1. Dreamer
2. Princess
3.Ripples
4.Surabhi
5. A Journey Called Life
adios
Chaos
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Enter the "Monitor"
"Life at ISB is tough. Be prepared to lose your deep sleeps, your recreation period, change the notion of a 24 hour day to a 28 hour day.........blah blah "
Wait a minute!!!. Did anyone forget something. Did they not tell me about the abundancy of flora and fauna around. Or rather certain kinds of flora and fauna, the ones that look deadly at the very least...?? Oh yeah they did, but they said they only lived outside in the grounds, the fields hidden by tall grasses. Yeah Right!!!
So i am going back to my room after a this long winded session of classes, where i found myself revaluating (once again), whether i should focus on this field where i could hardly say anything in the class ( how about one poor word against the books being delivered verbally by some !!!), and i am totally looking forward to a cozy bed to catch up on sleep. And i walk straight into Mr Monitor Lizard, lounging gracefully in my living room..........!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now for the record monitor lizards, or atleast most of them, though carnivorous are not extremely dangerous creatures and in fact are revered as pets in some parts, ( one of them was used by Shivaji's captain to scale some fort too). And like most animals you have nothing to fear from them, and they fear you more. Okkkkkkk........tell that to someone who bangs into a 2.5 feet long slithering monster on the ground of your living room, declaring victory over the domain. ...............
And so i screamed. I screamed so loud the poor lizard lost its wits running helter skelter. My poor roomie fell off the bed he was sleeping on in his room, came running out, and then shut the door on seeing the monstrosity. And so here i was trapped in my room, with Mr lizard for company, nowhere else to go to. My room is locked with route blocked by the diligent patrol. Or so i thought atleast.
Finally my roomie tentatively opens the door and beckons me in. Trying my best to avoid Mr Lizard, i scrape through in, and we call our pest control department to ask for help. In the meantime i radio in my other roomie, who i realised is actually from the "Friends of Lizards" organization and is keen to meet the new sentry. So he is rushing over too now. In the meantime however, our keen gaurd has vanished, no doubt sensing the extra attention being paid to him. And so when the pest control guys (PCGs) arrived, armed with all the stealth equipments, our gaurd is nowhere to be seen. We take the enemy has retreated.
But were we wrong??? Temporarily in relief we retired to our rooms. and as expected dropped off to sleep. But when my roomie wakes up, and walks sleepily to the living room, he finds Mr Lizard again, this time lazily perched on the window, viewing the scenery outside serenly ( no doubt looking for his Ms Lizard). And so we raise our alarm again.
This time the pest control guys (PCGs) came in better prepared, with more sophisticated instruments ( a long hard lathi, and a cast iron pipe) and with a determined look on their faces. They literally turned over the living room, and finally found the lizard hiding in a corner. And well, they killed the lizard. But not before it fought a valiant fight. Unarmed as it was, it tried to hide, and it took the guys almost 20 mins to fell the warrior.
On a serious note, we werent particularly happy about the killing. We expected these guys to capture the lizard and release it in the open. But trust me there was this manic frenzy on the faces of the PCGs almost as if they expected a feast.
Anyways one hell of day it was. This is what is a true test of ones courage ( or the lack of it :() under fire. I failed :((. but man, so would you. For god's sake.........mujhe kya maloom kya bala this woh. And no i feel bad it had to die, it shoudl have been let out in the nearby jungle anyways.
To conclude, to the general lizarding fraternity. Next time please announce your arrival before coming. I swear ill welcome you, and feed you too ( no not me, but something better). Trust me i hate surprises.
Adios
Chaos
Wait a minute!!!. Did anyone forget something. Did they not tell me about the abundancy of flora and fauna around. Or rather certain kinds of flora and fauna, the ones that look deadly at the very least...?? Oh yeah they did, but they said they only lived outside in the grounds, the fields hidden by tall grasses. Yeah Right!!!
So i am going back to my room after a this long winded session of classes, where i found myself revaluating (once again), whether i should focus on this field where i could hardly say anything in the class ( how about one poor word against the books being delivered verbally by some !!!), and i am totally looking forward to a cozy bed to catch up on sleep. And i walk straight into Mr Monitor Lizard, lounging gracefully in my living room..........!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now for the record monitor lizards, or atleast most of them, though carnivorous are not extremely dangerous creatures and in fact are revered as pets in some parts, ( one of them was used by Shivaji's captain to scale some fort too). And like most animals you have nothing to fear from them, and they fear you more. Okkkkkkk........tell that to someone who bangs into a 2.5 feet long slithering monster on the ground of your living room, declaring victory over the domain. ...............
And so i screamed. I screamed so loud the poor lizard lost its wits running helter skelter. My poor roomie fell off the bed he was sleeping on in his room, came running out, and then shut the door on seeing the monstrosity. And so here i was trapped in my room, with Mr lizard for company, nowhere else to go to. My room is locked with route blocked by the diligent patrol. Or so i thought atleast.
Finally my roomie tentatively opens the door and beckons me in. Trying my best to avoid Mr Lizard, i scrape through in, and we call our pest control department to ask for help. In the meantime i radio in my other roomie, who i realised is actually from the "Friends of Lizards" organization and is keen to meet the new sentry. So he is rushing over too now. In the meantime however, our keen gaurd has vanished, no doubt sensing the extra attention being paid to him. And so when the pest control guys (PCGs) arrived, armed with all the stealth equipments, our gaurd is nowhere to be seen. We take the enemy has retreated.
But were we wrong??? Temporarily in relief we retired to our rooms. and as expected dropped off to sleep. But when my roomie wakes up, and walks sleepily to the living room, he finds Mr Lizard again, this time lazily perched on the window, viewing the scenery outside serenly ( no doubt looking for his Ms Lizard). And so we raise our alarm again.
This time the pest control guys (PCGs) came in better prepared, with more sophisticated instruments ( a long hard lathi, and a cast iron pipe) and with a determined look on their faces. They literally turned over the living room, and finally found the lizard hiding in a corner. And well, they killed the lizard. But not before it fought a valiant fight. Unarmed as it was, it tried to hide, and it took the guys almost 20 mins to fell the warrior.
On a serious note, we werent particularly happy about the killing. We expected these guys to capture the lizard and release it in the open. But trust me there was this manic frenzy on the faces of the PCGs almost as if they expected a feast.
Anyways one hell of day it was. This is what is a true test of ones courage ( or the lack of it :() under fire. I failed :((. but man, so would you. For god's sake.........mujhe kya maloom kya bala this woh. And no i feel bad it had to die, it shoudl have been let out in the nearby jungle anyways.
To conclude, to the general lizarding fraternity. Next time please announce your arrival before coming. I swear ill welcome you, and feed you too ( no not me, but something better). Trust me i hate surprises.
Adios
Chaos
Friday, July 13, 2007
Will you be My Pheerrrrrrrraaaaaaaaanddddddd???
"Hi there, you are looking extremely cute, i am also looking very handsome, will you be my pheeraaaaaaaaaaannnnddd, and promise to hold my hand in everlasting pheeraaandshippp for ever and ever and ever".
Ok time out. Nothings gone wrong with me. i am absolutely normally abnormal. what i just wrote was a description of what i generally find popping up on the scrapbooks of my freinds from the female fraternity, on orkut. And though they always give me a lot of reason to literally laugh my guts out, it always amazes me as to see the law of equilibrium being so totally wish washed, crushed and marauded in this absolutely inexplicable expression of ones frustration desperation and you kow what. and well my sympathies always with my freinds who have to bear these crazy expressions and requests for everlasting relationships and all the kinds of ships that keep popping up from time to time.
And everytime i read one of these hilarious ( of course irritating if you are the receipient of the message) scraps, i am but forced to think, is desperation only a male prerogative. I mean i am yet to receive one scrap asking my hand in everlasting freindship from anyone from the opposite sex. and well people do say i am cute enough. ;P.......and none of my other bretheren have received any such requests either.
anyways so coming back to these amazing scraps that i keep encountering, and which provide me enormous opportunities to indulge in some good leg pulling of my poor freinds, let me show recount some of the masterpieces i have seen.
1) you are looking cute. will you be my freind. ( upon the recepients response, he qualifies it further as " you look like a doll".....abe kyun bechari haad maans ki insaan ko bejaan vastu se compare karta hai.....tsk tsk tsk.)
2) Aami tomake prem korbo - ( ulp i hope the bengali is correct :P...this one was one awesome scrap. direct, short and to the point. come on yaar, the fact that you are from his region, is reason enough for the raja ko raani se pyaar ho gaya thingy to happen - ).
3)Hi...i am ___, i am new to this place, and want to make some good freinds and make some good fun. will you make my good freind. will you hold my hand in everlasting phreindship for every and every. and then please scrap me back. your only ( errrr,everytime i recount this one i come up with one more version, but this takes the cake for literally showing the heights of desperation....a little more and he could beat himesh reshamiyaan in my vote for kiski-akhonsephele-aansoon-ponchon contest.)
4) Hi. Will you marry me. ( another straightforward, to the point scrap. jab miyan biwi ho raazi to kya karega qazi???)
There are many more versions of the same type. They do provide some funny situations at time, but can be highly annoying at others. generally best to ignore all those awesome scraps. however sometimes, people do respond in kind like for example this one, which actually takes all my votes for being the best response ever. it was forwarded by a freind to me.
" Did i visit your profile?NO. Did i leave you a scrap or send you a freind request? NO.Did i fall on your feet and begged YOU, whose existence i had no idea of till you left me that godamn scrap, to be my freind, or ask you to send me your "precious" friend request? NO. was my "about me" section meant personally for you? NO.Then who in the world are you to tell me which networking site to join, what to do, or even what to write on my bloody profile? Go screw yourself man, you are not even worth this reply. What do you think, i am waiting eagerly for some random guy by named XXXX ( who by the way thinks he is one up on me by dissing me about what ive written on MY OWN profile) to send me a freind request and ill accept it the moment i spot it?I joined this site to have MY freinds on my list, not have some radom strangers ( like you) leaving scraps or wanting to be freinds with me. So shut the hell up. "
Woooh.....i am sure the guy in question would have committed suicide after this. or atleast removed his profile from orkut. :P. not wait, i guess some things dont change. maybe hes desperate as ever.
Anyways, my simple advice to them out there. go get a life dudes.
and to my dear dearest buddies who are the receipients of these awesome scraps, well you know best. Ignorance is bliss. he he he. so chillax.
errr by the way princess and jo......hiyaaa.......i saaaaa yaaa on orkutwaaaaa.....and i mustaaa saaayaaaa.....you are damnaaaaaaaaa what i say yaaa........so will yaaaaaaaaaa be my pheeranaaadwaaaaaaaaaaaa.......i promise...i promise........i wont ever ask ya to gift me the harley davidsonwaaaaaaaaaa........wot say ya...i wait in eternal wait.......:P.
Ok time out. Nothings gone wrong with me. i am absolutely normally abnormal. what i just wrote was a description of what i generally find popping up on the scrapbooks of my freinds from the female fraternity, on orkut. And though they always give me a lot of reason to literally laugh my guts out, it always amazes me as to see the law of equilibrium being so totally wish washed, crushed and marauded in this absolutely inexplicable expression of ones frustration desperation and you kow what. and well my sympathies always with my freinds who have to bear these crazy expressions and requests for everlasting relationships and all the kinds of ships that keep popping up from time to time.
And everytime i read one of these hilarious ( of course irritating if you are the receipient of the message) scraps, i am but forced to think, is desperation only a male prerogative. I mean i am yet to receive one scrap asking my hand in everlasting freindship from anyone from the opposite sex. and well people do say i am cute enough. ;P.......and none of my other bretheren have received any such requests either.
anyways so coming back to these amazing scraps that i keep encountering, and which provide me enormous opportunities to indulge in some good leg pulling of my poor freinds, let me show recount some of the masterpieces i have seen.
1) you are looking cute. will you be my freind. ( upon the recepients response, he qualifies it further as " you look like a doll".....abe kyun bechari haad maans ki insaan ko bejaan vastu se compare karta hai.....tsk tsk tsk.)
2) Aami tomake prem korbo - ( ulp i hope the bengali is correct :P...this one was one awesome scrap. direct, short and to the point. come on yaar, the fact that you are from his region, is reason enough for the raja ko raani se pyaar ho gaya thingy to happen - ).
3)Hi...i am ___, i am new to this place, and want to make some good freinds and make some good fun. will you make my good freind. will you hold my hand in everlasting phreindship for every and every. and then please scrap me back. your only ( errrr,everytime i recount this one i come up with one more version, but this takes the cake for literally showing the heights of desperation....a little more and he could beat himesh reshamiyaan in my vote for kiski-akhonsephele-aansoon-ponchon contest.)
4) Hi. Will you marry me. ( another straightforward, to the point scrap. jab miyan biwi ho raazi to kya karega qazi???)
There are many more versions of the same type. They do provide some funny situations at time, but can be highly annoying at others. generally best to ignore all those awesome scraps. however sometimes, people do respond in kind like for example this one, which actually takes all my votes for being the best response ever. it was forwarded by a freind to me.
" Did i visit your profile?NO. Did i leave you a scrap or send you a freind request? NO.Did i fall on your feet and begged YOU, whose existence i had no idea of till you left me that godamn scrap, to be my freind, or ask you to send me your "precious" friend request? NO. was my "about me" section meant personally for you? NO.Then who in the world are you to tell me which networking site to join, what to do, or even what to write on my bloody profile? Go screw yourself man, you are not even worth this reply. What do you think, i am waiting eagerly for some random guy by named XXXX ( who by the way thinks he is one up on me by dissing me about what ive written on MY OWN profile) to send me a freind request and ill accept it the moment i spot it?I joined this site to have MY freinds on my list, not have some radom strangers ( like you) leaving scraps or wanting to be freinds with me. So shut the hell up. "
Woooh.....i am sure the guy in question would have committed suicide after this. or atleast removed his profile from orkut. :P. not wait, i guess some things dont change. maybe hes desperate as ever.
Anyways, my simple advice to them out there. go get a life dudes.
and to my dear dearest buddies who are the receipients of these awesome scraps, well you know best. Ignorance is bliss. he he he. so chillax.
errr by the way princess and jo......hiyaaa.......i saaaaa yaaa on orkutwaaaaa.....and i mustaaa saaayaaaa.....you are damnaaaaaaaaa what i say yaaa........so will yaaaaaaaaaa be my pheeranaaadwaaaaaaaaaaaa.......i promise...i promise........i wont ever ask ya to gift me the harley davidsonwaaaaaaaaaa........wot say ya...i wait in eternal wait.......:P.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Hero ban gaya zero :((
Haan yeh main hoon, aur main chilla chilla ke keh raha hoon yeh baat. Beta mumbai mein ho to kabhi bhagwaan indra se panga nahin lena. aur agar lena bhi hai to remember you are not a Sunny deol or the more in fad Rajnikant, who can with all those gravity defying stunts silence all their enemies.
To keep a long story as long as possible,
Hua yeh,
ki pichle shanivaar,
nikle hum apni dhanno pe sawaar,
powai se colaba,
guitar theek karwaana hai tha pucca irada,
naa poochna kyun gaye itni door,
humein bata dete hain ishtyle maarne ka hai dastoor,
socha dhanno pe dekh humein sawaar,
bagal mein daale hamara guitar,
kya maaloom ho jaaye koi haseena hum jaanisaar,
to issi khwaab mein mashgool ja rahe the itni door,
ke beech mein bol pade meghdoot,
aur bole to aise bole,
ki reh gaye hum to bhochakke,
par aji haan herogiri chaayee thi hum par aisi,
ki bole beta date raho maidan mein,
hogi jeet tumhari hi,
to bus chalte ja rahe chalte ja rahe,
na baarish ki chinta, na girne ka darr,
chale ja chale ja rahe,
ki tabhi aaya humko dhyaan,
jeb mein hain hamari jaan,
yaani hamara pyaara sa mobile shreeman,
kahin paani se ho jaaye na iska naash,
daal diya guitar ke bag mein usko,
ki bachega paani se woh,
lekin hai re hamari kismat,
pahunch ke colaba khola jo humne bag,
paani ke saagar mein gote laga raha tha,
bus phir kya tha,
teen din,
teen din bade saahas se lada hamara mobile,
par honi to kucch aur hi thi,
ho gaya woh veergati ko praapt,
aur tab se bus issi ke dukh mein ji rahe hain,
na mili haseena, bahaya itna paseena,
aur kar diya 5500 rokre ka chuna,
chalte chalte phisal gaye so alag,
to doston mere,
agar is sadi hui kavita ke ant tak aa hi chuke ho aap,
to sunte jao yeh aakhri alaap,
chalo rehno do,
phir bataonga, abhi nahin ban raha yeh alaap.
P.s - i know this post sucks big time. My apologies for the extra headache. dispirings available on the house. :D.
To keep a long story as long as possible,
Hua yeh,
ki pichle shanivaar,
nikle hum apni dhanno pe sawaar,
powai se colaba,
guitar theek karwaana hai tha pucca irada,
naa poochna kyun gaye itni door,
humein bata dete hain ishtyle maarne ka hai dastoor,
socha dhanno pe dekh humein sawaar,
bagal mein daale hamara guitar,
kya maaloom ho jaaye koi haseena hum jaanisaar,
to issi khwaab mein mashgool ja rahe the itni door,
ke beech mein bol pade meghdoot,
aur bole to aise bole,
ki reh gaye hum to bhochakke,
par aji haan herogiri chaayee thi hum par aisi,
ki bole beta date raho maidan mein,
hogi jeet tumhari hi,
to bus chalte ja rahe chalte ja rahe,
na baarish ki chinta, na girne ka darr,
chale ja chale ja rahe,
ki tabhi aaya humko dhyaan,
jeb mein hain hamari jaan,
yaani hamara pyaara sa mobile shreeman,
kahin paani se ho jaaye na iska naash,
daal diya guitar ke bag mein usko,
ki bachega paani se woh,
lekin hai re hamari kismat,
pahunch ke colaba khola jo humne bag,
paani ke saagar mein gote laga raha tha,
bus phir kya tha,
teen din,
teen din bade saahas se lada hamara mobile,
par honi to kucch aur hi thi,
ho gaya woh veergati ko praapt,
aur tab se bus issi ke dukh mein ji rahe hain,
na mili haseena, bahaya itna paseena,
aur kar diya 5500 rokre ka chuna,
chalte chalte phisal gaye so alag,
to doston mere,
agar is sadi hui kavita ke ant tak aa hi chuke ho aap,
to sunte jao yeh aakhri alaap,
chalo rehno do,
phir bataonga, abhi nahin ban raha yeh alaap.
P.s - i know this post sucks big time. My apologies for the extra headache. dispirings available on the house. :D.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Of Railgaadis, the lower berth and the Parsi aunties
I am fond of travelling by trains. I simply love it. Not for me the get up , get down and before you blink your eye, you are there, air travel so to speak. True of late, i have been travelling more often than not by air, but its more of a necessity than a fascination. But given a choice i would travel by train.
In fact i keep telling myself the reason why i have so far not gone to the US of A while so many of my freinds have been there and back is because Indian Railways has still not started its special Rajdhani Express from New Delhi all the way to New York. I am waiting to be the first passenger on that.
And when it comes to getting a seat, i simply love the lower berth. Oh to sit on the window seat and watch the entire world speed by, the forests, the fields, the cities, the typical ways the sounds of the gaadi change when you travel over a bridge on a river, the hundreds of smells in the air as the train stops at a station, its all bliss.
As a kid it was always me and my sister fighting on who would get to sit at the window seat. and being the elder one that i was, i generally had to give in to my sisters demands ( psst, hope shes not reading this)
When i grew up and started travelling alone, i heaved a sigh of relief. Atlast i could travel on the lower berth and sit at the window all to myself.
Alas!
It was not to be. It just so happens that when you are travelling alone and are a bachelor male like me, you will always end up getting Side upper berth. and if you have someone ten times your size ( and i already am fat), sitting on the side lower berth, you cant even get to sit for sometime before bedtime on his seat.
But this last time that i was travelling from Mumbai to Delhi and back i decided that i had enough . I bribed, threatened, cajoled my travel agent and finally managed a lower berth in the main compartment for both return and onward journeys to myself. And i felt like standing like Leonardo Di Caprio on the Titanic and shouting " I am the King in the World".
So you see there i was on the d-day all happy, at the railway station when i would rush to my bogie, my compartment. And i did walk in like a king to meet his subjects and his queens. And then........my heart sank.
Giving this young king company in the compartment would be two lovely parsi grandmas, one lady with a son who wanted to be an IITian, and a young chap from the navy. Now i dont have anything against my fellow passengers except for the fact that you already know you will have to give up your much desired lower berth to the aunties, who have been givenn the upper berth which they cannot climb due to their age.
And give my lower berth i did. so did the other young chap. I mean i am all for helping people and especially the elders but yaar ek gal dasso.............kissi ko meri lower berth se kya dushmani hai bhai. Bachpan mein behen ne nahin baithne diya ab autiyaan nahin baithne deti.
Anyways so there i did the good deed, much to my dislike and the journey went on. And it would all have ended on a solemn note but for the fact, that the two aunties / grandmas seem to have taken a liking to me. Now i know i am fat, but am not so uglily fat as to look sick and in need of urgent attention.
And so it was that i lay shocked and astounded and all the other eds, when one of the aunties called out to me a half hour before we were to reach Delhi station and gave me a loooong lecture on how i need to take care of myself. And the crux of that looong lecture was...."GET MARRIED SOON"...........your wifey dearest would take care of you...give you proper diet,....make sure you exercise and blah blah blah......wooosssssssssshhhh. all i could do was just listen and say hmm, aah and all that when the whole of me wanted to run away. Naah.....it was not that munna raaja sharm de naal laal pila hoya paya si, ki aunty ne us di shaadi di gal ched di. Par yaar take a chill man. Ek thi meri daadi, ab ek ho gayee aunty.........somebody tell me ki kya mere chehre pe likha paya hai " Single Desperately Ready to Mingle".
Anyways i know the aunty meant well. and i really liked the aunty. in fact both of them. they were not the typical naggin ladies who would keep telling people not to disturb and all. In fact they made good conversation and it was an interesting journey.
Just that there were two sore points..........My Lower Berth and of course "Shaddi kar le mere laal".
Mummy.....if you are reading this...i promise. Ab main roz gym jaaaonga. next time aunty wont say anything to me.
adios.
In fact i keep telling myself the reason why i have so far not gone to the US of A while so many of my freinds have been there and back is because Indian Railways has still not started its special Rajdhani Express from New Delhi all the way to New York. I am waiting to be the first passenger on that.
And when it comes to getting a seat, i simply love the lower berth. Oh to sit on the window seat and watch the entire world speed by, the forests, the fields, the cities, the typical ways the sounds of the gaadi change when you travel over a bridge on a river, the hundreds of smells in the air as the train stops at a station, its all bliss.
As a kid it was always me and my sister fighting on who would get to sit at the window seat. and being the elder one that i was, i generally had to give in to my sisters demands ( psst, hope shes not reading this)
When i grew up and started travelling alone, i heaved a sigh of relief. Atlast i could travel on the lower berth and sit at the window all to myself.
Alas!
It was not to be. It just so happens that when you are travelling alone and are a bachelor male like me, you will always end up getting Side upper berth. and if you have someone ten times your size ( and i already am fat), sitting on the side lower berth, you cant even get to sit for sometime before bedtime on his seat.
But this last time that i was travelling from Mumbai to Delhi and back i decided that i had enough . I bribed, threatened, cajoled my travel agent and finally managed a lower berth in the main compartment for both return and onward journeys to myself. And i felt like standing like Leonardo Di Caprio on the Titanic and shouting " I am the King in the World".
So you see there i was on the d-day all happy, at the railway station when i would rush to my bogie, my compartment. And i did walk in like a king to meet his subjects and his queens. And then........my heart sank.
Giving this young king company in the compartment would be two lovely parsi grandmas, one lady with a son who wanted to be an IITian, and a young chap from the navy. Now i dont have anything against my fellow passengers except for the fact that you already know you will have to give up your much desired lower berth to the aunties, who have been givenn the upper berth which they cannot climb due to their age.
And give my lower berth i did. so did the other young chap. I mean i am all for helping people and especially the elders but yaar ek gal dasso.............kissi ko meri lower berth se kya dushmani hai bhai. Bachpan mein behen ne nahin baithne diya ab autiyaan nahin baithne deti.
Anyways so there i did the good deed, much to my dislike and the journey went on. And it would all have ended on a solemn note but for the fact, that the two aunties / grandmas seem to have taken a liking to me. Now i know i am fat, but am not so uglily fat as to look sick and in need of urgent attention.
And so it was that i lay shocked and astounded and all the other eds, when one of the aunties called out to me a half hour before we were to reach Delhi station and gave me a loooong lecture on how i need to take care of myself. And the crux of that looong lecture was...."GET MARRIED SOON"...........your wifey dearest would take care of you...give you proper diet,....make sure you exercise and blah blah blah......wooosssssssssshhhh. all i could do was just listen and say hmm, aah and all that when the whole of me wanted to run away. Naah.....it was not that munna raaja sharm de naal laal pila hoya paya si, ki aunty ne us di shaadi di gal ched di. Par yaar take a chill man. Ek thi meri daadi, ab ek ho gayee aunty.........somebody tell me ki kya mere chehre pe likha paya hai " Single Desperately Ready to Mingle".
Anyways i know the aunty meant well. and i really liked the aunty. in fact both of them. they were not the typical naggin ladies who would keep telling people not to disturb and all. In fact they made good conversation and it was an interesting journey.
Just that there were two sore points..........My Lower Berth and of course "Shaddi kar le mere laal".
Mummy.....if you are reading this...i promise. Ab main roz gym jaaaonga. next time aunty wont say anything to me.
adios.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
"Subah subah ik khwab ki dastak par darwaza khola,
dekha ........................................"
This nazm by Gulzaar sahab has always evoked strong emotions within me. However with due respects to him, today that first line acted as an expression of an altogether different reaction. I opened the daily newspaper and as is my usual wont was going through the usual items and paused to glance at my horoscope when i read this
" Romance takes a beating today". and i kinda jumped. first reaction " subah subah akhbaar ki dastak pe panna palta to dekha, us paar se ek dhamki aayee hai mujhe".
Now someone please tell me, for some poor soul, all time member of the FOSLA ( Frustrated One Side Lover's Association if you please), where will something take a beating when when it does not exist. I assumed it was a warning for myself to behave or else risk being beaten up with sandals, or shoes or what have you.
The icing on the cake was when i shared this apprehension with a freind of mine and she very sweetly replied "Agar ek sandal pade, to ask for the second one, mere kaam aayegi". :((. Yeah buddy if you are reading this, well, i am just looking for the right requirements as of now.
Anyways, so this was the beginning of a glorious day for me. Now as i was again browsing through this harbringer of doom for me ( newspaper if you please), i come across this article which says that the I&B ministry has decided to ask all tv channels to apologise in public for airing all those oh so very offensive advertisements.
Now i have stopped having any political leanings for sometime now ( my mother has been after my life, because i lean a lot while walking), but somehow this great government or rather all the present governments in different parts of the country never fail to amuse me. They seem to have all the time in the world for moral policing of all kinds. And some times i just sit up thinking, how come a stupid advertisement on a stupid pair of pink polka dotted "chaddis", really offend my moral sentiments. Or how will banning an advertisement on Mc Dowell's somehow stop me from drinking my guts out, if i were one of them ( for the record i am a total teetotaller).
Ok i am all for decencies being maintained and all, but arent our mummys and daddys there to do make sure we see the right things. ( i happen to be one of the lucky souls, who has a couple of good angelic freinds who also make me shut my eyes when watching MTV at a McDonald's restaurant at Mumbai Central). why does the uncle at I&B want to become my dad. In fact my dad stopped doing it himself long time back.
anyways, its been a long tirade on this topic. and i do know one more guy writing on this issue, that too with a language handicap as mine, will not tilt the scales in favor of like minded people. But i seriously would like to believe all our nations troubles are over, what with the govts having nothing to do except to tell me what to see, what to eat, what to drink, how best to frown when my lady freinds visit this temple somewhere ( man, this is something i could write reams on, it is so gross in its idea) and so on and so forth.
meanwhile i think i shall now go back to sleep soon, and this time wait for a real dastak on a real khwaab and no not one with sandals, .......sigh..........
ciaos
dekha ........................................"
This nazm by Gulzaar sahab has always evoked strong emotions within me. However with due respects to him, today that first line acted as an expression of an altogether different reaction. I opened the daily newspaper and as is my usual wont was going through the usual items and paused to glance at my horoscope when i read this
" Romance takes a beating today". and i kinda jumped. first reaction " subah subah akhbaar ki dastak pe panna palta to dekha, us paar se ek dhamki aayee hai mujhe".
Now someone please tell me, for some poor soul, all time member of the FOSLA ( Frustrated One Side Lover's Association if you please), where will something take a beating when when it does not exist. I assumed it was a warning for myself to behave or else risk being beaten up with sandals, or shoes or what have you.
The icing on the cake was when i shared this apprehension with a freind of mine and she very sweetly replied "Agar ek sandal pade, to ask for the second one, mere kaam aayegi". :((. Yeah buddy if you are reading this, well, i am just looking for the right requirements as of now.
Anyways, so this was the beginning of a glorious day for me. Now as i was again browsing through this harbringer of doom for me ( newspaper if you please), i come across this article which says that the I&B ministry has decided to ask all tv channels to apologise in public for airing all those oh so very offensive advertisements.
Now i have stopped having any political leanings for sometime now ( my mother has been after my life, because i lean a lot while walking), but somehow this great government or rather all the present governments in different parts of the country never fail to amuse me. They seem to have all the time in the world for moral policing of all kinds. And some times i just sit up thinking, how come a stupid advertisement on a stupid pair of pink polka dotted "chaddis", really offend my moral sentiments. Or how will banning an advertisement on Mc Dowell's somehow stop me from drinking my guts out, if i were one of them ( for the record i am a total teetotaller).
Ok i am all for decencies being maintained and all, but arent our mummys and daddys there to do make sure we see the right things. ( i happen to be one of the lucky souls, who has a couple of good angelic freinds who also make me shut my eyes when watching MTV at a McDonald's restaurant at Mumbai Central). why does the uncle at I&B want to become my dad. In fact my dad stopped doing it himself long time back.
anyways, its been a long tirade on this topic. and i do know one more guy writing on this issue, that too with a language handicap as mine, will not tilt the scales in favor of like minded people. But i seriously would like to believe all our nations troubles are over, what with the govts having nothing to do except to tell me what to see, what to eat, what to drink, how best to frown when my lady freinds visit this temple somewhere ( man, this is something i could write reams on, it is so gross in its idea) and so on and so forth.
meanwhile i think i shall now go back to sleep soon, and this time wait for a real dastak on a real khwaab and no not one with sandals, .......sigh..........
ciaos
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