Wednesday, June 24, 2009
To Them - from School
People, i present to thee, the bravest and strongest and amazing souls to have ever walked on this planet in a zillion years ( they braved me dude!!!). And i start from school days.
Tapori Gang
1. Don Bhai - Class 9th. First day first period. i enter a class consisting of students from all the 8 sections of my erstwhile class 8th. Most of them we had hardly interacted ( inter section politics u see- we were not to have freinds outside our sections). And i see this man in the last row. With a dark stubble, a prominent moustache and looks that then were deadly. and was i taken aback. Yaar yeh to pucca don hai. isse panga nahin leke ka - pitai ho jaayegi. Ulp!!!. I dont think i ever spoke to him for first three months, mostly out of fear. And then when i did, well itna galat to kabhi einstein apni theory of relativity mein nahin hua hoga. For M was anything but what i had thought. One of the bestest souls around, sharafat ki moorti, the greatest musician i know till date and one of my bestest freinds to date. Weve been through so many things together - from santoshi maa's hilariously stupid skits for which he had to always compose the one song "jan jan ko jagana hai, dhara ko swarg banana hai", to cribs about JEE and the others, to college time reunions to our always under planning trip to Goa. I just love this man. aajkal yeh duniya ko naye naye fashion ke kapde pehnane mein busy ho gaye hain ( maane retail business mein hain), isliye apne chaddi doston se baat nahin kar paate. but he rocks for sure.
2. Mozarts twin - Tall, lanky, with fingers that could do magic - be it the spinning cricket ball or any instrument - musical and scientific. An amazing knack of finding his way into the ladies changing room on pretext of finding his own bag during annual functions ( yeah, mahashay ko itne joote kabhi jeevan mein nahin pade honge, jitne us din)..... he discovered the way to gobble up food from lunchboxes in the last row even as teachers taught us kinematics and calculus - and the world was never the same again. Another partner in crime as we trudged daily to our coaching classes not knowing what lay ahead. And one of my always cheerful always smiling freinds ready for some good fun any time. But boss isse zyaada debate nahin karne kaa - you can neva beat him on that. We once fought for 3 hours at the loudest pitch of our voices....on one of the silliest topics at 'Don Bhai's" place, and i think Don's young sister suffered a mental shock that day. poor thing had an exam the next day. :-s. the result of the debate. Abe doston mein kaise haar or jeet. :-s. Vaise aajkal yeh compooter abhiyantriki mein ek naya revolution laane pe kaam kar rahe hain. :).
3. Mr Cool with a capital K - Banda yeh bindaas hai. I swear. A freind once quipped about him " Yaar is munde ko kyun humne school mein raakhi baandhi thi, he definitely was not the raakhi type material".... hamare group ka mascot. You run a 5 Ton tanker over him, and hell get up and say - wanna play ball? Always the one to enjoy a good life and never ever fretting over anything that strikes him. i mean we all have at one point cribbed about life - boss, job, relationship etc etc. Not him. Hamesha chilled out rehne vaala. There have been times when i have been down and have called him and have just generally spoken to him about nothing in particular. and yet after that i have felt good. talk about positive energy. Aajkal yeh apne naye naye yembeah ke dwaara duniya bhar mein consulting tabahi macha rahe hain. :-s
4. Moti - I know ill get mauled by her for calling her this, but i just cant help it. :-s. a terror in school and Mozart's twin will vouch for that ( iske terrorism ke kisse bacche 6th class mein padhte hain). Ladkiyon ki gangleader no 1. and then times changed, we went our different ways. yet the one person i have been most in touch with throughout. from college, to mumbai to ISB to now. Shared all our good times and bad, so much so that one time, i was thought to be her proxy boypheerand and she my proxy girlpheerand. The initial one year at mumbai would have been a nightmare for me if she werent there. weve roamed across nooks and corners of the city - from nariman point to bandstand ( me oogling at skimpily clad females, she oogling at bare chested males :-s), romped the malls, gone on guilt trips that made princess ask us to melt in guilt when she was in pune and so on. Ive shared all my ups and downs with her and looked to her for all sorts of advice, and she has done the same to me. and we carry on, the bestest chaddi buddies that ever walked. Now, A proud mother of a bratty 8 month old who i swear will grow up to be like her, she plans to fly away to the US with her hubby, but not before she comes down here. Oye, aaja chup chaap, nahin to maar khaayegi. :D.
5. Princess - Sigh.....i look at her and bite my tongue .......mue kis nazar se tujhe se 12th mein yeh shaant swabhav ki lageen theen, jo tumne inhe autograph book mein yeh padvi di thi :/. I mean shaant and her are like two poles north and south :-s. Dekho bhai duniya mein do tareeke ke log hain - ek woh joh princess ke haathon hazaar dhamki kha chuke hain, aur ek woh jo nahin khaa chuke hain. Jo khaa chuke hain woh jaante hain ki hum kya keh rahe hain. This powerhouse of my buddy surely packs a punch with her antics and crazy ideas. She invented the idea of threatning and cajoling her friends to take her along with them on their respective honeymoons!!!!......and well main kya hi bolon. and yeah you would almost agree, what with that innocent dimpled smile and doe eyed look on her face ( innocent,.....sheesh). She will call you up all the way from pune, listen to what all fun you had which she missed, and then make you feel you should drown in guilt. She will compete with you on "who can write the longest and lengthiest email on the crappiest topic on earth". And then, my second agony aunt after moti, she would be there to listen to all your rants, and always there to give well thought advice, as long as its not past 11:00 pm ( arre madam ki beauty sleep nahin disturb karne ka, the only 4:00 am buddy who is fast asleep at 11:00 pm). My cutest best buddy who again has been through with me all these years, she complete this tapori bunch of five from school that i have.
Love them all very very much and heres to them and to us all. Hail Taporigiri. :-s
Monday, June 15, 2009
Humpty Dumpty
humpty dumpty had a great fall.
Dunno why i suddenly have this nursery rhyme playing in my mouth over and over again. But i need to kinda reword things here
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
humpty dumpty had a great fall,
broken humpty put his blame on the wall,
dumpty did not see what it was for all,
did he not try the balancing act,
realising not where was the fat,
he should have been wiser for sure should have been dumpty,
and seen his head was all but empty,
thanks to thee the fall was not bad,
but humpty is a little sad,
pray for humpty that he may,
rise again and not bow in dismay.
for humpty dumpty is to climb another wall,
and again go through it all and fall,
coz humpty dumpty sat on a wall,
humpty dumpty had a great fall.
adios
chaos
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Day 3 @ Kolad - of valleys, and rains and fumes and grooms and of ASK
But before i get there, just a quick recap. So we started the day with the usual PT and the usual groaning. I think the first signs of the genesis of the ASK were shown here. you could see the ASK in S waking up as he tried to show his disdain to the whole stretching thingy going on. So when the instructor said "Pull Left" he pulls down and is like " Abe tere ko direction se matlab hai ya stretch se, ab ho gaya!!!!".......and so on. I swear you really had to see S in action.
Anyways next up we went for this valley crossing session. For all of you thinking about daredevil commandos crossing a 1000 foot deep gorge on a wire to raid the Villain's castle and rescue the damsel in distress, and then fighting over which one of them gets to marry her ........hold on........aisa kucch nahin hua yaar. We went to our old lake, where they had put up long rope across which we had to cross over a harness, or rather were pulled across. A shade disappointed we were for sure. We had an earlier option of a trek and we thought that should have been the one exercised. But then no point, we still had our fun, mostly frolicking in the water after our mandatory crossing.
Oh and yeah, we did have our debrief session in the morning, which went typically smoothly. Having been given the warning look by buddies around, i for once shut my trap for a longer than expected time. :).
So after the crossing thing, we got back, were told to change and pack up for our trip back, get into travel clothes and come for lunch. Most of us did that, except for the lucky few. Why? Let me tell you. But first let me also tell you, that we had been in the jungle past 2 and half days, most of our clothes were soiled, we were not carrying our entire wardrobe, and we had to also make space for some decent wear to go to Phirangi Paani on way back. ( P actually wore proper club wear so to speak, the cool rich dude i tell ya).Given the above, well we were mentally all already on the bus back when we came back from lunch.
But hello, our dear instructor had something else in store for us. One final game, of making a hexagon with ropes while we were all blindfolded. The catch " Boss, the environment would change in between"!!!!, aaah, why did we not notice that comment. Because you see the moment we started playing the game, all blindfolded and all, well..........it started pouring...........no seriously, Indra Bhagwaan apni kumbhkaran ki neend se jaage aur unhone apna inbox dekha with a number of prayer requests from a certain crowd in a motley jungle, praying for some rain aur aao dekha na taao, lage bajane dhol......matlab baarish yaar. :(
To hua yeh ki hum the apni aakhri bachi jeans aur kabhin jaane layak shirt mein, jeb mein tha hamara mobile, dimaag mein aaya khayal us puraane expereince ka (Hero Ban Gaya Zero), aur bus ho gaya dimaag kharab :(. and to be true i was not the only one. Khair, socha hamare instructor saab kucch to daya karenge, but naa.......jaage Indra bhagwaan the, yeh thode....lage rahe beta khel khelne mein.........yeh nahin socha ki unka khel kitni maasoom zindagiyon se khilwaad kara hai.............sach kahoon mujhe us khooni, vehshi darinde pe jo rosh aa raha tha ki bus............the game went on, even as all our hopes of making it to a certain pub with all the good looking ladies et al seemed to be swept away.
After a while the game ends and we all rush back to our debrief room, and somebody asks me......."how was your hexagon"??? to aap ko kya lagta hai main kya boloonga.............. of course " I DONT BLOODY WELL CARE"..........Y tells me he feared i would commit murder at that very instant. well i had some sense not to do that as yet.
But i tell you the very next instant both Y and myself had the urge to just about commit that same sin. And no we would have been called martrys for that. Why? Coz we go in, the instructor looks at us, looks at the situation, our drooping faces, and asks " So what is the EMERGENCE from this"^R%^&#Q@#$#$#$@#(&$*(,.......... abe ravaan ke vanshajh, bheegi hui jeans mein thithoorte hue bacchon se poochta hai bata teri ada kya hai :( :(.........
anyways, somehow we still sat through the session. and trust me i really havent got anything against our ravaaan ka saatvaan vanshajh, but this was too much. :(.
Anyways so we left the place, pretty tired and a little aloof and lost and what have you. But kehte hain na, bhagwaan ke ghar der hai andher nahin. Jab jab dharti pe zulm, badta hai, ek Ajooba paida hota hai, jo in zulmon ka ant karta hai.
In our case, well it has to be the ASK consultancy group. They redeemed us, rejuvenated us and what all. A firm started by the the indomitable A, S, and K together, the trio had their own version of Jay Leno and Oprah WInfrey and Junta ki Adalat and what have you, with each of us being made to sit on the hot seat and asked .......well..............absolutely politically incorrect questions.......and i am being polite. It was hilarious the whole way it came out. and the way these guys handled each question and counter question was like too much........let me try and sum it in one line
"If you dont answer well screw you, if you do, well still screw you"......and boy they did......koi nahin bacha..........sabka parda phaash kiya gaya is adalat mein................and well we had an awesome time. both the victim and the audience per se. The whole journey back was all about this.
and boss what energy the trio seems to have. I made the mistake of asking them after dinner ( this at 11:30 pm in the night, when we had been on the road for 4 hours, in a restaurant for about 2, and were returning back), as to why they were silent now. bus bhaiya, ho gayee kahani chalu, i just had to somehow run away. But anyways thats the way it came about.
All in all it was an amazing 3 day outbound trip and we had an awesome fun. In fact the entire induction program was good. Over the next two days we had more presentations and all and i think we could take them a little better since we were a little more chilled out as a group. and like i said to them earlier, Y and R, take a bow, i personally enjoyed the whole thing, and i am sure the others did too. Our group and especially ASK, take a bow too, you were outrageously hilarious and awesome. got some energy levels up for sure.
So thats about the whole thing. I am back in office from today, and well have been a little lost. maybe missing the group a little, but i hardly knew them, i mean just about 7 days right? well i guess sometimes you get used to a level of energy and camaradrie and you feel like having it for that one more bit.
thats it for now i guess
adios
chaos
Kolad Trip Day 2
Exactly, what happened to most of us at the end of first day. i think most of us had no idea of our bearings physical and mental and we just flopped like dry sacks onto our respective beds, caring nothing but for Chandamama if you know what i mean. :).
By the way, did you tell you of our failed attempt at playing a prank on the ladies of our group, . To my credit, i humbly accept defeat. and to the ladies credit, well they werent taken in, even by a fear as mortal as being bitten by fiery king cobra. Or maybe they were too tired to really react to whatever we planned. For the records we did plan out some more, such as the one with a Vikram Betaal type Betaal springing on one of the unsuspecting victims from a tree in the dead of the night. Me thinks we should have been more adventurous :P.
Anyways so day 2 began with the usual morning PT so to speak. and this time it was a yoga session. Boss, try stretching your limbs here and there and thither, something you havent ever done before and then listen to the instructor go "Push Push Push, more push".......yikes.......at one point if felt as we were all females in labour, with a doctor on our head.............sheeessshhhh. and finally the instructor says........"Lock Lock" whatver that meant. I think someone did shout " arre boss, lock hi hai sabkuch ab unlock nahin hoga"....... but it was fun actually the whole thing. Most of us started feeling so young and glowing didnt we.......atleast the parts that could still feel something :D.
Anyways so the next high point of the day was a raft building exercise. so we were these two teams competing to get an orange from a hirtherto unknown king to save our respective CEO and for that we had to build this raft and then cross over a lake to reach the island. Was an interesting activity what with our attempts to build a raft while another part of our team tried to negotiate for a consultant. We got one to help us make the raft, while the other team used their own brains and did come up with a sturdy design - what if it toppled the first time??? Post the raft building a rowing exercise ( which was i admit a little disappointing since most of us thought it would be white water and all, whereas we hardly went across some 25 metres of a still lake), we had a good swimming session in the lake which was fun.
We also had a debrief on this and it kinda got to me this time. Apparently the point that we missed in the competition was that one team had to get only the orange peel while the other had to get the juice. so were supposed to have collaborated and not competed and thereby reduced our bids from US$ 6 billion to INR 1100??? ( dont even ask me to explain that). and the whole lesson being WIN - WIN approach works WIN-LOSE doesnt??? arre boss, yeh kahan se aa gaya.......too much ho gaya was the discussion i tell you, and well i think most of us still dont agree :(. anyways, so much for the win and the lose.
Post the above debrief we had a series of games played. pretty neat and enjoyable games, which worked best when we kept our mouth shut and worked rather than making whole loads of noise. so from trying to carry a basket ball balanced on 12 strings to walking on australian planks so to speak to the TT ball and pipe game, these were interesting..........
The last event for the day was this movie called " The Ghost and the Darkness". Pretty neat movie starring Val Kilmer, Michael Douglas and set in the 19th century if i am not wrong. The best was the cinematography of the lions. they looked so majestic. for the others the story is about a man who is building a bridge across a river and is haunted by the prospect of all his men falling prey to man eating lions.
Now for me the only thought i had as i went to bed - Boss three games, and one movie? imagine the discussions during the mandatory debriefs? i mean i am all for debriefs, i love participating in them, but trust me yaar........sometimes a movie is a movie is a movie....... period.
anyways this has a reason too.
adios chaos
Monday, June 08, 2009
Hail the ASK Consultancy Group - Day One
Hmmm!! civilization at last!!! or atleast the luxuries of some source of communication that was missing past three days, access to my laptop and network for my phone that however has been giving me sleepless nights........hanging from the hangman's noose and refusing to go beyond the clear white screen on start up. I told you, i am always happy with the simple paanch hazaar vaala baat karne vaala phone. these funky gadgetry monsters do me no good :(.
Anyways before i digress too much, well we had gone away from civilization for a three day trip to this village in Kolad, about a hundred kms from Mumbai. Oh ya, i have been in mumbai ( my original karambhoomi so to speak :)), for a week now, as part of our company's group orientation program. and well i thought the outbound trip was one worth mentioning about.
So Day 1 started with our 3 hour trip to the camp. We left last thursday, a motley group of some 26 odd people led by our organizers, the Omnipresent (boss with his towering personality, you cant miss him) Y and the demure yet power packed and indomitable R. The trip was short yet sweet albeit with the dosage of the typical antakshari, from heavy ghazals to the cheeziest and sleaziest govinda numbers. I mean the range went from heavy duty numbers like “Hosh Vaalon Ko Khabar kya” to the mithunda flicks like “Atariya pe lutan kabutar”…….you could feel the depth of the gang I tell you.
On another note, Id like to believe this was also the time when the seeds of a soon to be extremely successful startup were being sown. More on ASK later though. They deserve a separate post per se. :D.
Our camp was set on top of a hill ( came to know of this only on the day when we were leaving though) and consisted of tented accommodation plus a pucca conference room and some ground for exercise. Having first located our tent ( which was quite luxurious contrary to our expectations) and settled down, we had our first session in the evening, that of a usual round of introductions, with everyone introducing someone else. What made it interesting was the fact that a certain bollywood actress and actor came out to be most in demand for partners on a trip to Hawaai. I am sure our instructor spent a better half of the night chalking out a rigorous schedule for accomodating the actress and actor into our oh so busy days. Then of course there were others who revealed there first love for Tuntun, Ajju Bhai et al.
Anyways so after a fine dinner we tucked in for the first day ahead, which promised to begin early. 5:45 am to be precise.
Now I am not telling you my weight, but damn it ask someone like me as well as the rest to get up at 5:30 in the morning and go for a round of PT and jogging and all, and you know whats in store. :(. I mean what do i say. but well we did begin our mornings with the round everyday of the three days. so the first had a couple of rounds of jogging followed by exercises to stretch hitherto unknown parts of your self. As one of us quipped later . “Only now i know i have 207 bones"!!! The extra one because magically, new body parts seemed to be growing these days. But I tell you we did realize the awesome physical condition we all were in. I mean 30 mins, and the combined power of our heavy breathing could have caused a storm in zulu land. :D
Post breakfast, our first session was one of splitting the group into teams that had to “Compete” in and Extremely “Collaborative” Manner in a Win Win scenario. No comments on this though. But yeah we had our teams formed - the wild, ragged, absolutely crazy Junglee Brigades, and the even crazier, whackier "Fundoo Pandooz". With slogans such as "Jhinga Lala Hu, Sharam Haya sab chhhodd do, Fundoo pandooz ko phod do", and "Screw it just do it"......you only missed a couple of spears and some war paint and some knives around there i think.
Our first outbound activity for the day was, rock climbing and rappelling. we were ( or atleast i was :(), a bit disappointed as we did not go for an actual mountain climb rather just had a vertical about 35 feet high man made wall ( wait, i never said i finished climbing it), to climb. But it still was fun nevertheless. Ab main apne baare mein to kya hi bataon, matlab saamne deewaar thi, uske saamne main tha, bus deewar main chadne hi waala tha, ki .....kambhakt yeh bhaaribharkam shareer beech mein aa gaya. Varna woh deewaar aaj tak bani nahin jo hum chad na sakein. The bottom line being i did not go beyond 5 feet i think. :(.
But we had a few others who did it. In fact our first climber almost finished the climb in first attempt, before missing the last bit ( he went on to finish the whole thing again on the last day). Then we had S, who climbed the damn thing like a monkey, hopping from one side to the other with some agility. I swear i should call him the monkey man :D. But he was good. The others also gave really good shots at the activity, differently reaching heights.
The rappelling was a comparatively easier activity, and well i sort of redeemed myself i one way, by successfully trying out the commando style one where you had to literally walk down the wall, facing downwards instead of with your back. It was scary to say the least but well we did it.
Post lunch, there were two activities lined up. One included building a tent with your team lined up and with hands and legs tied to each other such that only the ends had one leg and one hand free. Boy it did seem quite a task. And the way we moved trying to accommodate both ourselves as well as the hazaar suggestions each one of us had, it was stupefying :D. We almost had the tent erected upside down, before some saint realized the folly and directed us. But we did manage to do it, albeit after the other team.
Another activity we played later was that of the game of mats, where the team was split into two columns, and the two had to cross over each other. If you have every tried the frog puzzle on your MS Excel, when you were supposed to be working in office, youll know what I mean. This one took us awhile to crack, and in fact at one point three of us were sitting simply scratching heads and trying to remember our earlier endeavors. But thanks to a few more saner souls we managed to do this one too.
One continuous and well at times stretched factor during the entire trip was the debrief session following every game or activity. And i dont think i remember it with as much fondness as i would perhaps remember my first date with my girlfriend ( if i had one that is), but well yeah it was fun to discuss, and dissect and analyze every aspect of the activity. So we went from a simple objective of climbing a damn rock to relation with the self to fear to psychosis and mitosis and meiosis and win win and win lose. I tell you boss, the intelligentsia of the world would have been stunned at the depth of the discussions we had. We had all the answers to every problem in the world. And no i am not being cynical. I got to be crowned the Arbit CP as well as the Desperate CP King re :), an honor i missed during my ISB days.
Evening was a skit performance by each of our two teams – Jungleez and Pandooz that is. While the Jungleez performed to the tune of “Sholay Rewind” ( my buddies at ISB, take a bow, I took our earlier idea and used it again here J), the Pandooz made a new version of “Mahabharat ki Ramayana”. Both were awesomely hilarious ones. Sholay had its origins in a similar skit I had staged at college but this one was crazier by far. From thakur wanting to get rid of the suave smart and ex Ibanker Gabbar, to Jai Veeru convincing Basanti that Thakur was the best man for her, to maulvi lining up for mausi, to Kalia finally running away with mausi even as Radha implored Jai and Veeru for neglecting her, wooh, I don’t know what we were doing. But it was amazing simply. Never knew, we could come up with so many ideas, and such an impromptu performance in a space of about an hour and a half. Awesome.
The Pandooz had their own version of Mahabharat Ki Ramayan. Another hilarious endeavour with a plot that I would like to keep under wraps for fear of being hounded by the Hindu Fanatics I tell ya. I mean………we had to somehow just stop ourselves from dying laughing. Just kinda got me back to old engineering and MBA days. Sigh!!!!!!!!!
Anyways, so that’s how the day ended, with some bonfire music followed by dinner. Pretty hectic, lots of activity and great fun. We had two more days to go, and were waiting to see what would go.
The next day shall follow. But before I go, I must do this…….Hail the ASK Consultancy Group.
Adios
Chaos.